Disclaimer: This self-pitying article is not about all men, just the overwhelming majority of the ones in America.
I honestly can't help it. I am burdened with expectations too high for my generation. I know we live in a different era where chivalry has all but died away, and I know that our society has moved into a "hook-up" culture. Women and men have switched roles, except men always get the girl and all the glory without having earned either. But, I guess when they say, "hopeless romantic," they really mean it. Because that's exactly how I feel: hopeless.
What happened to the generation of men that had the courage to seek after the women they adored? Now, if a guy sees a pretty girl, he looks her up on Facebook, maybe, Instagram, and likes her photo. His sad attempt is usually lost among the hundreds of other suitors. Social media has ruined courting in our culture. I cannot remember the last time I met a guy who actually showed his interest in me face-to-face, or even wrote a letter expressing the feelings he could not put into words. Instead, I get a Facebook message saying, "What's up?" Or the classic, "You're cute." Have men, or should I say boys (because real men know how to talk to a girl), really become so pathetic that they can't tell a girl in person that they think they're pretty? Or that they're interested?
Since when did we cater to boys that committed such childish acts? When did we let ourselves become swooned by cute morning text messages? When did someone posting a picture with us for Instagram become a heroic act? When did the girls of our generation start believing that we were so undeservingof genuine kindness, of dates without expectations, of commitment, of being someone's first and only choice? When did we start demanding respect and stop commanding respect? Well, I am taking a stand. How can we complain about our pitiful situations, and then continue to partake in the act?
I want a man who will pump his fist in the air when I return his affections, like Judd Nelson in "The Breakfast Club." I want a man who will hold a heavy boom box over his head blasting our song just to prove his love like John Cusack in "Say Anything." I want a man that will blow off his friends to be with me, regardless of social pressure like in "Sixteen Candles." I want a man who will treat me like the Molly Ringwald of my generation; who will talk to me like his best friend. I want a gentleman who has the courage, the respect and the integrity to do all the things we, women, forgot we deserved. But like Emma Stone so eloquently put it in Easy A, "John Hughes did not direct my life." I know my life will never be an 80's movie, but it would be nice if guys would do a little more to help make it be.
Sincerely,
A girl patiently waiting on her happy ending.
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” From "When Harry Met Sally."
