My Dark Volcano Poem from when I was 11

I wrote a dark poem about volcanoes 8 years ago

What was I thinking? Let's find out.

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I have always had a problem throwing things out. When the end of a school year came and I had mountains of graded papers and assignments, I would just shove them into my desk and leave them there until I opened the drawer again the next year to put even more trash in there. After cleaning my room before I left for college, I found all of the trash that I should have thrown out, but instead of just doing it, I looked through the work, mostly to laugh at how easy it seems now when then I thought it was difficult. I came across a very poor drawing of a volcano with a poem written inside of the mountain. I passed it off to my friend, Will, to show how my drawing skills might have actually decreased over time. Will laughed at that and then he read the poem, expecting it to be simple writings about how cool a volcano erupting looks, but instead read a darker story about the devastation volcanoes can cause. I don't remember if I knew about the volcano that destroyed Pompeii at the time because it was 8 years ago and I was 11 years old, but if I didn't, then I accidentally wrote a poem about it. Anyways, here it is:


Here's the picture of the volcanovia My iPhone


Bursting flames and fumes out of its head,
The beast has awoken once again.
Red-hot water bathing our streets, cleansing our whole world.
An eruption of sadness in my heart watching the volcano destroy all we have worked for,
leaving nothing but some of our lives.
Chaos spreading like a plague, infecting everyone it touches.
How could this happen?


Seeing the silent mountain explode with life,
destroying all of the things we cherish.
I can feel their pain, and I think why would this happen?
We are all God's children, why would he do this?


I have to go there to help those in need,
I can help rebuild, and help adjust.
I can be there to make them feel cared about
I can pray...

The religious themes of the poem come from the fact that I went to Catholic grade school, shout out Prince of Peace in Plano. I guess even at a young age, I was curious about why suffering occurred while God was all powerful and therefore able to prevent it. Since then, I've had many explanations that God allows this to happen because God loves us and wants us to have free will, and I still haven't decided if I accept that answer. Another thing that I noticed is that I refer to God as "he," which now I have consciously stopped doing. When giving God a human pronoun, we are reducing a supposedly all powerful being to a human, which would be disrespectful should God exist.

The real reason that I like this poem is that it was the first time I did something in English class that I was proud of. As background, in grade school I was good at most things except for writing. I despised writing. Since that time though, my love for writing and reading has grown exponentially, and I believe that this poem is in large part to thank for that. It marks a pivotal moment in my life. Also, it marks one of the first times that I saw how destructive and dangerous explosions can be, while when I was younger I saw them simply as a spectacle.

The main reason that I really appreciate this poem is the last stanza, although I would make one small change. I love the fact that I listed all of the proactive things I could do to help this fictional town that was ravaged by this seemingly "silent mountain." If I could go back, I would move the last line of the poem to the beginning of the last stanza. I would do this because, throughout the poem, I doubted God's efficacy to help or save those who worship God, and having the last line laud the power of prayer seems to counter that point. If I put it at the beginning, then the message of the poem would be about taking action to make the world a better place, instead of relying on faith. This would go against the modern day message of "thoughts and prayers" that many people share after a tragedy and promptly forget about the awful thing that happened. Don't get me wrong, it is pretty easy to take action AND also pray, but having prayer anchor the end of this poem seems dishonest to what I think the message is.

I wish I could go back in time and talk to the young kid who wrote that, discuss the meaning of the poem and simply interact with that version of myself. Sadly, I know that's impossible, but at least I can appreciate this piece of work for the pivotal role it played in my life.

Cover Image Credit:

upload.wikimedia.org

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To High School Seniors In Their Last Semester

Senior year moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

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Dammit, you made it. The final semester of your senior year. You're at the top of the food chain of high school, and it feels so good. You're probably praying this last semester flies by, that you get out of town as soon as possible.

At this point, you're calling teachers by their first names, the entire staff knows you by name, and you're walking around school standing tall, owning those hallways. You're convinced you're ready to leave and move on to the next chapter in your life.

You've already experienced your last football game, standing in the cold in the front row of the student section all season long, decked out in your school colors and cheering loud and proud. That is, until they lost, and you realized you will never have that experience again. Never again.

SEE ALSO: What I Wish I Knew As A Second-Semester High School Senior

You already had your last winter break. Preparing and celebrating the holidays with your family, ice skating and sledding with your best friends. Those quiet nights alone in your room watching Netflix, taking for granted your loved ones just a few rooms away. Never again.

If you're an athlete, you may have already played in your last game or ran your last race. The crowd cheering, proudly wearing your school's name across your chest, giving it your all. For some, it may be the end of your athletic career. Before you knew it, you were standing in an empty gym, staring up at the banners and thinking about the mark you left on your school, wondering where on earth the time went. Never again.

I'm telling you right now, you're going to miss it all. Everything you've ever known. Those early mornings when you debate going to first hour because you really need those McDonald's hash browns. The late nights driving home from practice, stopping for ice cream of course, ready for a late night of homework. Getting food on a whim with your friends. Endless fights with your siblings. Your favorite chips in the pantry. A fridge full of food. Coming home to and getting tackled by your dog. Driving around your hometown, passing the same sights you've seen every day for as long as you can remember. Hugs from your mom after a long day. Laughs with your dad. And that best friend of yours? You're going to miss them more than anything. I'm telling you right now, nothing will ever be the same. Never again.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl That Enjoyed High School

Before you start packing your bags, slow down, take a deep breath, and look around. You've got it pretty good here. The end of your senior year can be the time of your life, it's truly amazing. So go to the winter dance, go to Prom, spend Senior Skip Day with your classmates, go to every sporting event you can, while you still can. College is pretty great, but it's the little things you're gonna miss the most. Don't take it for granted because soon, you'll be standing in a packed gym in your cap and gown, wondering where the heck the time went. You've got a long, beautiful life ahead of you, full of joy but also full of challenges. You're going to meet so many wonderful people, people who will treat you right and people who won't.

So, take it all in. Be excited for the future and look forward to it, but be mindful of the present. You've got this.
Cover Image Credit: Hartford Courant

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10 Things From The 2000s To Put You In Your Feels And Transport You Back To Your Middle School Days

Writing this article just took me back to 2007.

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Thinking about graduation these past few weeks has put me in a weird sentimental mood lately (I don't ever get emotional, #virgovibes) and I decided to just rub salt in the wound and really take it there. I went on a trip back to the mid-2000s and made a list of my obsessions from that era. Honestly, now all I want is to color a Lisa Frank coloring book and buy a pair of gauchos.

1. Tamagotchi

https://www.amazon.com/Tamagotchi-Electronic-Game-White-Pink/dp/B07DFBF82H

Anyone else obsessed with this weird egg thing? Not even sure what the point of this game was, but I distinctly remember always forgetting to feed the little creature thing inside. Apparently, you can buy one on Amazon for $38!!! Steep!

2. Nintendogs

https://nintendogspluscats.nintendo.com/about/

Oh my GOD. I was so obsessed with my little puppy on Nintendogs and I would spend all day petting it on my Nintendo DS. How did they manage to make them look so cute?

3. Video Now

https://forums.bannister.org/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=91924

My sister and I would legit never put our Video Nows down. We would watch different episodes of Trading Spaces: Boys vs. Girls 100 times each. I guess this was like the iPad before its time.

4. Lisa Frank

https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2016/02/13/these-12-lisa-frank-designs-are-about-to-give-you-serious-feels/

Who else stans Lisa Frank??? Where is she today? Is she still stuntin on everyone somewhere? I swear I got my fashion inspo today because of my childhood with Lisa.

5. Tankinis

Pretty sure I owned this exact suit.

http://lowestpricecomparisonforclothing1.blogspot.com/2012/02/limited-too-girls-circus-dot-tankini.html

Ok. Tankinis (specifically from Justice and Limited Too) were my absolute saving grace during my fat years from age 8-12. Like, one pieces hadn't had their comeback yet, so what was a chunky girl supposed to do?

6. Gauchos

Why does this girl have to stunt on everyone so hard?

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/66/5a/80/665a80bb11389ac7d19423ceba5e41a2.jpg

Another absolute fashion staple. Gauchos. Once again, from one of the two designer brands back in the day, Limited Too or Justice. I'm pretty sure I had about 3 pairs of these.

7. Bratz

https://www.amazon.com/Bratz-511762-Catz-Doll-Yasmin/dp/B006HFMB9A

If you weren't obsessed with Bratz, who were you? And now with the Bratz challenge sweeping Instagram and YouTube, I'm feeling super senti about my girl Yasmin. You can also buy her on Amazon and honestly, I would pay more than $40 to be reunited with her again.

8. Phitens

https://www.phitenusa.com/yamizora-titanium-necklace/

So this was all I remember about 8th grade. If a boy had one of these, he was an absolute stud. Like, this necklace could turn a 4 into a solid 7. Unsure why. I remember once this cute boy let me wear his for a day and I was automatically head over heels. Also, what do these even do? Make you balance better or something?

9. Curl Mousse

https://www.amazon.com/TIGI-Catwalk-Curls-Rock-Amplifier/dp/B0047DK2RW?th=1

DID ANYONE ELSE PUT ABOUT A POUND OF THIS IN THEIR HAIR DAILY??? I'm shook. I would legit put about 5 pumps in my hair straight out of the shower and then just scrunch the shit out of it until I was the most beautiful chola queen.

10. iPod Nano

https://www.ebay.com/i/264264894745?chn=ps

There was never a day where I did not have this in my hand. And I was not begging my dad to let me buy more songs on iTunes. 7th and 8th grade I just had to "Take You Down" by Chris Brown blasting on my iPod Nano constantly, which, now that I think about it, was pretty inappropriate. But I turned out pretty ok!

I had so much fun writing this article, thinking of all the things that stood out from my childhood and formed me into the person I am today. Who knows a fun tankini and a brown gaucho would create such a fashionista???

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