Recently I have found myself talking to many people about virginity. I even had friends tell me that men still ask if they're virgins. In this year 2017, men still somehow find it okay to ask about your sex life and if you're still "pure" enough for them. They still push this idea that being "pure" and "untouched" is somehow a prize to win, a quest to conquer rather than a human being who just wants to make sure things are right.
While the idea of virginity as "popping your cherry" is kind of real, it's still not really a measure of virginity. Doing almost anything can "pop the cherry," from riding a bike to just about anything strenuous enough. But the virginity I'm talking about is the idea that women are somehow pure until they have sex for the first time. The idea that women having sex somehow ruins their "purity."
This standard put on women creates a huge ordeal around women having sex and creates a stigma that once you lose your v-card, you're somehow not wanted -- you're old news.
Men push this standard far more than women, saying things like, "I prefer virgins," or "Nah she'll sleep with anyone." How much or how little a woman has sex is not up to men to decide. It's basically a ploy to get women to lower their standards and sleep with them. They'll convince them to sleep with them because they, "like virgins," or they'll let women believe that because they have already slept with someone, they won't find anyone better. Well, that's not true at all.
The whole concept of virginity seems like it's only against women, as men get to have sex as much or as little as they want without feeling shameful about it.
I think that women should be able to be seen the same way, being able to have sex as much or as little as they like, with no scrutiny. Women need to stop judging women and men need to stop judging women. Virginity is a social construct pushed forward to keep women's self-esteem low. It's time for women to rise against this stigma and do with their bodies as they please rather than what men expect and want from them.
Sex can be whatever you want it to be, and there are no certain rules or limits to follow. Do what you want, be happy, and push away from any negative light shined your way.
