There is a bathroom decorum.
We all abide by it, we all just know the rules and the secret joys of the bathroom. Today, I went into my school's bathroom and did my business. When I came out, I was standing by the sink, inspecting my face.
Then the worst things happened. My professor walked in. I felt panic because I had to decide whether to break the bathroom rule of not speaking in the bathroom or go rogue and start a conversation. As I stood there, I contemplated my decisions and the life-altering effects it could have. Luckily, she broke the rule first and said hi, so I was spared making that awful choice of...
1. To talk, or not to talk.
That is the question. But really, please don't talk to me. Bathroom = Quiet Time
2. Being alone in the bathroom is heaven.
When you can poo in peace, there is no greater feeling. We all hate waiting for people to leave...or that one straggler who just won't leave. Or worse yet...the her poo-er waiting for you to leave. It's a battle of the poo-ers, between two people, one of which who will suck it up and leave because they can't handle the tension in the air.
3. Pooping in public quietly.
When you aren't alone, and you have one of those legendary quiet poops. It's truly amazing.
4. The silent judgment of not washing hands...
Did you or didn't you? Did I? I used sanitizer like an hour ago...that counts right? Don't judge me.
5. Pretending you didn't hear that person fart.
When you are in the stall next door and you pretend you didn't hear that release of butt air.
6. Pretending you didn't hear them do anything.
Whether it's awkward grunting or their sporadic peeing...you keep that poker face when you meet at the sink.
7. The gossip you overhear in the bathroom is legendary.
The bathroom is the place for getting the best gossip. "Say what? Stacy did what? Stacy did WHO!?
8. ALWAYS have trashcans in the stall for the women's bathroom.
Come on, that's against the code, y'all. You know girls need to use the trash, without doing the tampon walk of shame. We already hide them up our shirt on the way to the bathroom, don't make us hide them on the way out too.
9. Sitting on the toilet to kill class time.
We all sit on our phone and chill in their on Facebook for an extra couple minutes.
10. When you see a person you know in the bathroom and you have a shy bladder.
It's the terrible moment when you think about rain, water dripping, rivers and literally nothing happens. You'll beg to pee but that shy bladder just won't allow it until the bathroom is empty...or until someone turns on the air dryer.
I think we all can relate to these bathroom troubles and blessings.
