Understanding Your Partner's Love Language Is Key To Any Relationship
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Understanding Your Partner's Love Language Is Key To Any Relationship

Gifts don't really work on people who just want your company.

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https://unsplash.com/photos/ODMNSWjel_I
Matheus Ferrero

Suppose you write the world's best research paper and are about to present it to a panel of scholars.

The paper has been peer-reviewed and edited to the last detail. Your paper is clear and precise in every way.

Your sources are cited, your grammar is impeccable, and you're certain your paper will get submitted.

However, you wrote the paper in English, but the panel of scholars only speak French.

Despite how perfect your paper is, there's absolutely no chance of your work being approved as it was not translated in the language the panel of scholars would understand.

Our love languages work exactly the same way.

The 5 Love Languages quiz has gained quite some attention recently. It's a quiz that tells you your love language, which is the predominant way you typically prefer to show and receive love in your relationships.

The 5 love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

Understanding your partner's love language is crucial to understanding your partner.

Nowadays, it's so easy for people to feel unappreciated in relationships when we don't meet the other person halfway.

Even if you pour every ounce of love you can possibly muster into the other person, if it's not in their language, then the message is ineffective.

Communication is other-oriented, so we have to show love in a way the other would understand.

For example, my best friend's love language is Acts of Service, which is the love language I scored the least on. Even though I wouldn't particularly care for someone to help me with groceries or surprise me by cleaning my car, that's the quickest way to her heart.

Therefore, I made a conscious effort to meet her halfway.

I offered to take her to HEB since she didn't have a car, I started offering to help her clean her apartment, and I would bring her medicine whenever she was sick (which was very often because neither of us had the best eating or sleeping habits in college).

One of my other best friend's love language is Physical Touch, which is my second love language. She thrives on hugs, holding hands, etc. just like me.

I'd always been pretty touchy-feely with her, but when I learned this was her love language, I would hug her extra long and extra tight. We started linking arms when we walked through the mall, and I would give her random hugs throughout the day just because.

My love language is Quality Time, which is not a love language many people in my life have. It has definitely led to me feeling unappreciated in a lot of my friendships as I thrive on human interaction.

I'm always looking for opportunities to go on adventures with people. I could spend hours upon days upon weeks with my friends without needing a break from them.

If someone were to clear out their schedule for a whole day just to spend time with me, I would go nuts (hint hint anyone who's reading this)!

Even if your partner's love language doesn't correspond with yours, use it as a learning opportunity. Step out of your comfort zone and try a new tactic.

If their love language is Words of Affirmation, send them random paragraphs telling them how much you care about them.

If it's Physical Touch, give them extra hugs and link arms with them when you walk together.

If it's Acts of Service, offer to give them a ride or help them move.

If it's Receiving Gifts, surprise them with a souvenir from your vacation.

If it's Quality Time, clear out your schedule for them (me) a little more often.

We can all find new ways to show our appreciation for the people in our lives.

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