Two months. It's been two months since I walked into a tattoo parlor and sat down for two hours as needles moved in and out of my skin, leaving behind a piece of artwork on my forearm. It's been closer to three months since I went from having shoulder-length hair to sporting an Audrey Hepburn-esque pixie cut. My physical appearance went through a lot this summer, but I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin.
College is such a good time to find yourself. You are surrounded by so many people that can help you pick and choose aspiring qualities for yourself. You develop habits and quirks in this time of independence that will stick with you for life. New experiences shape you into a (hopefully) more mature person and allow you to be prepared for the big, bad world that faces us that we head out into after college.
It's only natural that we change and grow, but what happens when your appearance isn't catching up with your mind? From personal experience, everything changes at once. It's not the usual scary change; it's a comfortable, exciting one. You learn that your body is a canvas, and we have to decorate it with life.
When I first cut my hair off, it was a spur of the moment decision. I decided that I didn't want to have to put forth the effort it took to style my hair that following weekend at a local music festival. In fact, I didn't want to deal with hair anymore at all. So off it went. I wasn't nervous, I didn't doubt my decision as the hair stylist cut my hair, and I certainly don't regret it. Hair grows back, right? When I dyed it twice during the spring semester of 2016, I knew if I didn't like the color that it would eventually grow out. Hair is cool in the way that you can temporarily change it to reflect who you are or what you are going through. Just a hint: this is why when a girl goes through something major, she does something totally new to her hair!
My tattoo, on the other hand, isn't so much removable or grow out-able. It's there forever, but I've loved it and taken pride in the piece of art that is on my body. The idea of forever isn't terrifying with my tattoo - it shows a part of my soul for everyone to see. You don't have to know me to understand something about my life or my personality; you just have to look at the little bee surrounded by flowers. The number of times I've had friends admire it and say that "it's just so you" is astounding, because it ensures my love for my tattoo -- and myself -- even more.
I'm proud to say that these past months have made me so much more confident. It took me all of my freshman year of college to realize that my body and my mind are both canvases waiting for life to (metaphorically) paint them. The more you allow yourself that freedom, the more confident you become. Stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people, has helped me find an amazing support system who especially loves me for me. I've learned how much I love being in the crowd at musical festivals by pushing myself into new scenarios, and that I am such a night owl but not a morning person what-so-ever.
Reflecting who you are on the inside on the outside is a tough job. It's hard to be soft and kind on the outside in a cruel world, but it's worth it to be a genuine person. In a few years, you might see me across the street with several more tattoos (sorry Mom and Dad), with short hair and flowy clothing. I'll have a confident stride, and look determined to get where I am going, though I'm not in a rush. If and when that happens, know that it took me some time to get there, and it'll take some time for me to look at you and think the same. Adorning your body tattoos and rocking radical haircuts might not be your style, but you get the point. Being yourself on the outside is important, and I hope you get a chance to do it one day in the near future.
Content creators from across the web have told you how important body positivity is. Life is significantly more amazing to live when you love the body you have. I used to hate change, but you can always rely on it when things get bad. When you don't like something about yourself, change it. You can change your hair, clothes, skin, and change your confidence level with it. The best part? People may not always approve of it, but you'll be too busy believing in yourself and loving yourself that it won't matter.
