Aren't I stating the obvious?
It's been said to death, ''Television and Movies give us unrealistic expectations for romance." It's an old platitude we've become so desensitized to it feels like The Simpsons newspaper headline, "Old Man Yells At Cloud." Just more people shaking their fist at some vague but insidious thing, "The media! Society!" However, when people talk the problem with fictional romances, it's about the myth of "The One," "Happily Ever After," and "real relationships take WORK."
I'm not disputing that. I don't think I, or anybody, knows exactly what the perfect relationship entails, but I, and most mature adults can tell you what it doesn't.
The problem with fictional romances isn't the "unrealistic expectations," but the romanticizing of unhealthy and sometimes downright gross behaviors. It's the men that are too good, but the men that are straight up terrible.
For example, the advertising campaign for "Fifty Shades Freed" just launched, and the main character isn't the man of my dreams, but the man of my nightmares. 
Christian Grey is a controlling, unstable stalker. If he weren't played by Jamie Dornan, women would think he's just a straight-up creep. He follow Anatastia around, tells her what she can eat and who she can hangout with. But hey, that's sexy, right? He has a bad past, and with love, can be changed.
Wrong. That behavior is terrifying, and love does not fix people.
However, I think this example is not only obvious, but also the franchise is also so bad it's surreal. It's easy for people to view semi-ironically, in a vacuum where they ignore the obvious abuse and enjoy the hot sex. A solid guilty pleasure.
There are more examples of bad relationships in mainstream television dramas and sitcoms that aren't so overtly abuse, but much more insidious because they so much more inform our views on how relationships are supposed to be.
For example, people viewed Ross and Rachel as the TV Romance of the 90's. Ross is supposed to be a lovable oaf who can't stop fucking up. But he's possessive, angry, controlling, and a straight-up homophobe. He embodies toxic masculinity and has been obsessed with his little sister's friend since childhood.
The show ridicules his behavior in a way. After all, we're supposed to laugh at him for being so over-the-top. Yet how can we truly root for someone who never learns from their lesson or changes their ways?
This demonstrates how TV romanticizes the toxic behavior of men. Ross' behavior is meant to be endearing, not gross. The same is with Christian Grey. He's broken, fucked up. It's not his fault he's that way. The media wants to believe these endearing, fragile men can be fixed with love, and this kind of gas lighting is exactly how real women end up in relationships with abusive men.
On the other hand, Rachel goes from being a spoiled fashionista to a carer fashionista, which culminates in her leaving New York for Paris. However, Ross stops her. This is considered to be one of the most romantic TV moments in history ... but how? She missed an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If Ross really loved Rachel, wouldn't he have let her go?
This is a victory narrative for Ross, a possessive static fuckboy, not Rachel, a character who had come far to get where she was. Prioritizing your relationship over your career is unhealthy for both you and the relationship. It's too much pressure.
This highlights another problem with TV romance. It perpetuates the myth that love is this wild, untamable thing that would make you do anything for the other person. This feeling is not love, but obsession. Even when you are in love, you should put yourself first.
"How I Met Your Mother" is another demonstration in how unhealthy obsession can be, and Ted Moseby is similar to Ross (possessive, entitled, etc.) Ted was so singularly obsessed with one woman so much it destroyed his other relationships. The show seemed to reinforce Ted's obsession is unhealthy. Instead, he tried to foster a normal friendship with her.
However, in the epilogue of the show, the show's main ensemble is fragmented, and the two get together as if they were always meant to. This ending reinforced not only that Ted's obsession was romantic, but the unhealthy narrative that romantic love will prevail over platonic love, and men and women can't be platonic.
People were upset Barney and Robin's relationship didn't last. However, it could be argued their relationship was even worse. While they did have things in common, Barney was a rampant sexist, and Robin was very career-minded. This relationship demonstrated two things: if you're a woman, being focused on your career and not marriage makes you cold and self-serving, and that love can redeem awful men.
Early in the show, Robin and Barney's relationship was based on antagonism, though they eventually find common ground. This is the premise for a lot of TV relationships. TV has the idea that disagreements lead to sexual tension. However, it doesn't always work. It can cross to line into romanticized bullying and harassment. This trope may not lead to a relationship, but "hate sex," which I can imagine being healthy in any real life context. Broken down, this trope is "He's pulling your hair because he likes you!" playing out on screen. This trope also pushes a narrative that hate means love, love can fix bad people, and like the next couple, that antagonism is that fans the fire of love.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer rocked the 90's with raw camp and women power. This torture romance cast a long shadow on the supernatural drama. She's The Vampire Slayer, he's a Vampire. She's 16, he's 126. A great recipe for forbidden love.
But really, what does a 16-year-old cheerleader and a grown man who's been living in the sewers for the past 100 years have in common? What do they talk about when they aren't yelling at each other that they can't be together? This represents a lot of problems with not sitcom romances, but action-adventure couples. In this genre, there often seems to be the couple that can't live without each other, but doesn't even seem to be friends. This is not love, but an extremely shallow obsession, in the same vein as Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Later in the show, Buffy says,"What's love without that fire?", but that do-or-die desperation is obsessive and unhealthy.
These are the problems with fictional relationships. As adults, we should realize this behavior is not healthy. Obsessively pining for someone isn't healthy.
People, especially men, are not puppies that you cuddle and can train to behave better. This is a mentality abusers rely on to manipulate their victims. You shouldn't put your romantic relationships over friends and your career. That's not how you know your love is real. You shouldn't bully someone because you like them. It's not sexy, it's harassment. You shouldn't feel like you're going to die without someone. That's called obsession, and co-dependency, not love.
Yet, TV relies on these crutches to write a romance everyone will root for. And people do! But they really shouldn't.
Real relationships are based on friendship. Love comes from friendship. And let's be real. The Slow Burn is the best romantic trope out there.
