After much thought and consideration, I am writing this to let all of you know that my dear friend Snapchat user name isabelleadler56 has been put to rest. I know what all of you are thinking, but contrary to those beliefs, I have never felt better.
At the start of this year, I enrolled in a Technology in the Communication class. First assignment, digital and social media cleanse. I laughed out loud when this was assignment announced. Me, go 24 full hours with no phone, computer, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and Netflix? HAHA no. Obviously, I bullshitted the assignment and carried on with my normal routine. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, repeat.
There was a girl in my class who had mentioned that she did not have a Snapchat. I thought this was beyond strange. Like, it's 2017, every millennial has one. I literally thought she was lying when she uttered the words "I do not have a Snapchat." I was like umm..ok..like why tho? But after hearing her response, it all made sense. She said that if someone wanted to have a conversation with her they could text or call her. She said it was a waste and time and energy for her. Damn, she was so deep.
I admired it but ultimately was not willing to let go of my precious Snapchat or any social media for that matter. I went many weeks thinking about what she said, however, was still keeping up with daily technological norms and of course my Snapchat streaks. 621, 554, 321, 223, and 181 were just some of my many snap streaks. I clearly put a lot of time and effort into Snapchat and was not willing to let go of that. But why..? It's just a number, right?
Recently, I've noticed that my bad days were adding up and seemed to be more than my good days. There was always something that either made me anxious or sad. Whenever I was feeling down, I immediately would do is check my Snapchat. As if Snapchat was going to solve all my problems. I would send snaps to people that made it clear I was upset so they would ask me why.
I was just asking for attention in the most deplorable way possible.
I think I would do it impulsively as an excuse as well but recently came to the conclusion that it was the source of my bad days and anxiety.
I thought back on it and realized anytime I felt sad, left out, and/ or anxious was because of what I was seeing. Seeing a snap story of the boy who wouldn't text me back brought me to tears, seeing friends out and knowing I was not invited made me feel like shit, and on top of that I felt like I was not liked when I would send a Snapchat and the person would open it and blatantly not answer. The open arrow on Snapchat drove me to such insanity, I would delete conversations with people to get rid of proof that they did not answer me.
What did I have to prove? That I took nice vacations and ate at good restaurants. I literally could not go anywhere "nice" or "cool" without storying or Snapchatting it. It was pathetic to me. Looking back on it, I was extremely pathetic.
All in all, Snapchat was adding to my mental health issues.
So I thought about it. I thought to get rid of it. If someone wants to talk to you they will call or text you. What did it matter where I had avocado toast and why did I have to take 15 pictures of it in order for it to be story worthy. Also, why was I letting a number define my relationships with people? And on top of that, why was I allowing what other people were doing to influence how I felt not only about myself but how I felt in general.
So I said fuck it and I logged out and deleted the app. AND, I did it on like the most popular snap story week ever. Thanksgiving.
I deleted my Snapchat on the start Thanksgiving break and I have never been more thankful.
Instead of constantly wanting to send pictures of where I was or what I was doing, I actually just enjoyed where I was and what I was doing. I started to live life without caring as much. I also felt less anxious. I suddenly did not know what 300 of my closest friends were doing every second of every day and something about that was nice. It was relieving.
My little social media cleanse has quite literally changed my life and the way in which I not only see it but live it.
Needless to say, I do not plan on logging back in anytime soon.
The next thing to go? Instagram.