Why Don't We All Have Transparent Toasters?

Why Don't We All Have Transparent Toasters?

After hours of research, I believe I have the answer.
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As I sat in the library today working on a very important research paper for a very important math class (which I need to pass in order to graduate this Spring), I was struck by a profound question:

Why aren't toasters see-through?

And a big "YES" to all of you smarty-pants out there: I do know what a toaster oven is. But I'm talking about a true-blue toaster here.

Wouldn't it be great if instead of playing toast roulette every morning you could actually see how brown your toast is at any given moment? For a moment, I thought that my epiphany was going to make me a millionaire.

Alas, somebody beat me to the punch. Actually, a few people beat me to the punch: I found a bunch of transparent toasters on Amazon (damn you, Jeff Bezos).

But this still didn't answer my question: Why aren't these nifty contraptions mass-produced? Why aren't they in every kitchen across the world? After some a ton of research, I think I've found the answer:

Toasters are hot and glass doesn't respond well to heat.

Huh? Think of it this way: when you put your toast into a toaster, you're putting it between two walls that are each wrapped in thin metal wires. When you plug in your toaster, the electrical current coming from the socket in the wall of your kitchen (or bathroom or bedroom, we don't judge) runs through these thin wires. And as we all know, according to Ohm's First Law:

Electricity + Metal Wires = Hot

And the hot (which I believe is the scientific term for it) coming off of those metal wires radiates onto your bread (at about 600 degrees Celsius), magically turning a once soft and doughy slab of cooked yeast and flower into a much more dry, messy slab of cooked yeast and flour (side note: why the hell do we like toast so much?).

So why does any of this matter? Well according to the Royal Academy of the Sciences (just kidding, I used Wikipedia), the glass-transition temperature (aka the temperature at which glass goes from hard and brittle to soft and malleable) for most common types of glass is less than 600 degrees Celsius. In laymen's terms, as is stated in Ohm's Second Law:

Glass + Hot = Melted Glass

So by substituting Ohm's first law into Ohm's second law, we find:

Glass + Electricity + Metal Wires = Melted Glass

Which leads us to Ohm's Third Law:

See-through Toaster + Melted Glass = Broken Toaster = FIRE! = Unhappy customer

And there you have it: we don't have transparent toasters because Cuisinart is too scared to burn down a few homes for the betterment of mankind.

Tsk tsk tsk!

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

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10 Things People Who Addictively Drink Diet Coke Are Sick Of Hearing

In tribute to the most wonderful beverage in the world during my attempt to detox.
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Hi I'm Katie, and I'm a Diet Coke-aholic. It's been 28 days, 22 hours, 2 minutes, and a handful of seconds since my last Diet Coke and I think I'm going to die. I'm not kidding — I've had dreams about the stuff, it's bad guys. I figured with the new year I would try and be healthier. I said I would give up Diet Coke for a year, a whole year. So when I found myself sitting in my room missing the feeling of drinking a nice cold Diet Coke I couldn't help but reminisce on all of the super annoying things people say about my "addiction."

1. It'll cause cancer

The original study that “firmly concluded" that Diet Coke “definitely causes cancer" was done by Italian researchers where they overfed almost 2,000 rats aspartame (the main sweetener in diet soda) at a rate and concentration that no human being would ever likely consume. So although a link was found between aspartame dosage and cancer in rats a similar study on humans confirmed no link between the two. Maybe they'll find something in the future, but right now I get to drink my can guilt free. Science.


2. You know, Diet Coke won't make you skinny

I haven't been to the gym since October. Trust me, honey, I'm not drinking the stuff for the health benefits. I'm drinking it for the delicious taste.


3. Have you ever thought about cutting back a little?

No.


4. Have you ever thought about swapping it out for seltzer water or something else?

No. Seriously? Are you kidding me? Please stop suggesting stupid things.


5. Put the bottle down!

Some people think that it's a problem. I think that it's a solution.


6. Diet Coke is actually worse for you than regular Coke.

Ok cool. Thanks, doc.


7. Do you know how much money you're probably spending?

No, and I don't want to find out. I have been successfully avoiding the answer to this since 2010.


8. All that soda will impact your mood.

You're damn right it will. If I'm stressed, or sad, or angry — you name it, a Diet Coke is guaranteed to make me smile. So thank you for pointing this out because yes, Diet Coke does affect my mood.


9. The sugar will rot your teeth

a) It's the carbonation, not the sugar that rots your teeth b) I brush my teeth and practice other oral hygiene regardless so I think I'm OK.


10. You have a problem.

Yeah, it's you. I am fully aware that I drink more Diet Coke than some people but I'm OK with that.


Despite all of the nonsense people insist on talking to me about I will always have a special place in my heart for Diet Coke. See you in 2017, my love.

Cover Image Credit: Coca-Cola Co.

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Iced Coffee Lovers Everywhere, Dunkin Over Starbucks

The smarter and cheaper decision when it comes to your morning cup of iced joe.

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I am an avid lover of coffee, no matter if it's from local coffee shops or corporate coffee shops. I normally only go to big coffee places such as Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks as part of my morning routine, and I've realized that one of them cannot compare to the other when it comes to iced coffee. Even though both places sell the same thing, they do not taste or cost the same whatsoever.

Dunkin Donuts is way better than Starbucks, and here are a few reasons why:

Dunkin is way cheaper.

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When you go to Starbucks, the smallest size they have can cost you anywhere from $3 to $5. At Dunkin, you can get a large iced coffee for only $3, they way coffee should be price.

The drinks are easier to pronounce.

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I get so confused when trying to order at Starbucks, so I feel like a lot of people do. A venti grande frapp-what with what in it?? Dunkin is so simple with normal sizes and coffees.

Less wait time!

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Everybody and their mother decides to go to Starbucks at the same time because, let's be honest, it's Starbucks and people want that brand in their hand. Dunkin never makes you wait more than five minutes for your food or drink and you make it on time to work or class.

Don't get me wrong, both places are great in their own way, but when you're a broke college student who needs to be awake for 22 out of the 24 hours of the day, Dunkin Donuts is your best friend. Most of them are open for 24 hours while Starbucks closes at the early time of 9 p.m.

As a college student, you spent endless hours studying and doing homework the night before it's due because of your procrastination. You need a good iced coffee to keep you going, and Dunkin Donuts is always there for you at any time. The taste, the food, the packaging of Dunkin Donuts: amazing, incredible, no one can compare. It's what keeps America on the go.

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