6 Topics You'll Never Hear Discussed In A Church, Even Though They Should Be

6 Topics You'll Never Hear Discussed In A Church, Even Though They Should Be

The church should be a place we can talk freely about our sin, imperfections, and need for grace.

The church is not just four walls that religious people enter to worship. It's composed of all God's imperfect people who generally call themselves "Christians." It's not a place; it's a beautiful puddle of broken people searching for hope, redemption, and grace. This is how I will be defining "church" throughout this article.

Sometimes Christians forget where their sin left them and fall into pride. When this happens, people outside the church look in and see a religious sect full of religious people who are only taking applications for religious, put-together individuals to join.

This is the church's greatest downfall.

It, and myself, need to remember that we didn't redeem ourselves from our sin. By the saving grace of Jesus Christ, our sin and its penalty was nailed to a cross where it will stay defeated. We must transform into humbly broken people that open up their hearts to vulnerability so that when people look at the church they say, "Oh, we aren't so different."

In order to make this happen, we, as a church, have to start talking about the imperfect areas of our lives and leave our religion and pride at the altar. Jesus never told us to "Go, and be perfect." So why do we try so hard to be that?

My greatest desire is that the church can open it's heart to its own imperfections and that we can start talking about:

1. Mental illnesses

You might be surprised by the number of people affected by mental illnesses. Approximately every 1 in 25 people suffer from a mental illness. So in an average congregation size of 150, 6 people suffer from mental illness and probably more with anxiety and/or depression.

It's easy to think that time and a lot of prayer will "heal" them, but mental illnesses are tricky. They are persistent. Many people make the mistake too of equating them with faith. I made this mistake with a friend of mine who was struggling with severe anxiety. The person may be drowning in his/her own thoughts but this in no way means that they have stopped hearing God.

When I asked a friend about his own personal struggle with depression, he agreed that if people within the church were wiling to talk about the issue instead of putting a "band aid" on it, others might have revealed their own struggle with depression and been able to help him through his.

2. Sex and sexuality

Let me define sexuality here as involvement in sexual activity that is not sex. This could be alone or with someone else. Either way, it's not a comfortable topic that is passed around in the church. Here's why it needs to be, though: We all have this desire. It's something that was instilled in every one of us at creation, but was distorted by the curse. We need to know how to handle it and told that it doesn't define us or our walk with Christ.

Also, sex. I get that the church wants to scare teenagers and make them think sex is a terrible thing so they won't do it. But can we talk about how beautiful it is between two people who are madly in love and bound together by the commitment they made to God at the altar?

3. Prejudice

We tip toe around it, but we can't avoid it. Prejudice is still prevalent in our culture. The church tells us that all God's people are created equal, which is true, but the conversation about prejudice needs to be deeper than that.

We should be asking questions like: How can the church create diversification in the congregation? What are ways that we can build relationships with every people group in the community? How can we show people that we are all broken and in need of a Savior?

4. Faults within the church's beliefs that don't correlate with the Bible

Each denomination has its own set of beliefs that sets it apart from the others. When the church was dividing and forming different denominations, their interpretation of the Bible determined their beliefs. Unfortunately, we will never be able to look at the Bible with clear intentions and read it without inflicting our own agenda. Therefore, no one denomination will ever be correct.

What we should do instead of trying to prove why our belief system is "the right one", is have open conversations and challenge what the church is doing or where it is headed. We should pray for clear eyes and open hearts that allow us to see our imperfections.

5. Grey areas

Grey areas are parts of our lives like financing, nutrition, intimacy (all the things that aren't sex) before marriage, and social media, that aren't discussed in the Bible. Therefore, we are left with the struggle of applying Christian principles that are discussed in the Bible to these areas.

The even bigger problem is, though, that we don't sit down and openly talk about them because once we do, we have to release them to God. I'm sure many of us could also call our grey areas "freebies" since we don't feel directly pressured by Biblical instruction to make a change.

6. Broken families

With a 50% divorce rate, I have to ask myself why this isn't discussed more by the church. Every single person has been affected by divorce in some way. Divorce isn't the only criteria for a broken family, though. Many children are raised without fathers. Some families are intact but are physically or emotionally abusive.

It doesn't matter if the person is middle class, lower class, or upper class. Broken families happen to white people and black people. They affect people with a steady job and those struggling to survive. As with prejudice, it's prevalence necessitates our discussion. When people start talking, others speak up and they realize they aren't alone. We can help each other through tough times if we just say something.

DISCLAIMER: The purpose of this article was to prompt discussion. I in no way claim to know how to fix these issues. I do know that as we open ourselves up, God's light will shine into our discussion and our lives. My prayer is that the church becomes a safe place for broken people of all races and social economic statuses.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-front-of-church-alter-226345/

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I'm A Christian Girl And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals

It is OK for me to not want to be equivalent with a man.


To start off, I am not writing this to bash feminists or get hate messages. I am simply writing this to state why I do not perceive myself as a feminist.

March is International Women's Month and that is what has got me thinking about how I view myself as a young woman in the 21st century. I enjoy every day getting to soak up the world as a young lady, particularly in the South.

If you know me, then you know that I love and utterly adore Jesus. He is so perfect. He is everything. He is my whole life. Some people might say that I am a "Bible-thumper" or someone who has had too much Kool-aid and maybe I am, but I know who my Creator is and that He died for me, and that is all that matters.

In my young age, I loved to just sit in church with my parents and absorb all that God would deliver. As I have grown up, I have ventured off and joined a church that is different than my parents, so the responsibility falls more on me, but I love that. Since this era of independence began, I have thoroughly enjoyed taking ownership of my faith.

I spend a lot of time chatting with God, worshipping Him in all kinds of ways, and just diving deeper into His Word. Through all of this growth as a Christian, I have learned a lot, but something I have learned is a concept that some may not agree with, which does not surprise me.

I do not believe God meant for women and men to be equal.

There, I acknowledged the elephant in the room.

It is a shocker, I know, but I have some Biblical evidence to back up this belief that I have.

Let us begin in Genesis. God created man and then he created woman. This was two separate occurrences and order is key. He created Adam and then Eve.

Jesus treated women with grace and kindness, do not get me wrong. I mean just look at how He treated the woman at the well, the one who used all of her expensive perfume to cleanse His feet and not to mention His own biological mother! He has a truly unique place in his heart for women, but He also has special intentions for us in the world and in the family setting.

We are to submit to our husbands.

We are to be energetic, strong, and a hard worker.

We are to be busy and helpful to those in need.

We are to be fearless.

All of this is explicitly laid out by God in Proverbs 31.

We are not to be equal to our male counterparts. Jesus does not lay out the Proverbs 31 man, but He rather lays out the Proverbs 31 woman.

A husband or man is to be the head of the household as Christ is to the church.

A man is to love a woman so deeply that represents how he loves himself.

A man is to leave his father and mother.

Women and men are not equal in God's eyes, but they each represent Him in their own ways that the other needs.

If we were all equal, we would not need one another and therefore we would not need God. I am so thankful that we were not created equal. I am so thankful that God is so great that He could not just create only man or woman to represent His image. He is so perfect.

So, you see I am not a feminist, and it is OK.

It is acceptable for me to have this belief that God intended for men to lead women. It is also okay for people to have differing opinions. Writing this was not easy, but I know that not all people agree.

To feminists and those that are not, you are allowed to believe whatever you wish but have evidence to back it up.

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My Relationship With Religion Will Never Be Black And White

and that's okay!


I was raised Christian let's get that out the way. Growing up in a small town I went to Awana (a children's church group Wednesday nights) and then once I was in middle school started youth group that night instead as well as a normal church on Sundays. If you would ask me from me being really young to probably around 15 I was all about church and building a relationship with God.

After leaving public school and growing my presence online and meeting so many people from all walks of life, I started questioning things.

Suddenly, I was immersed in this community with the best people who just loved everyone regardless of gender or sexuality or race and it was the place I was able to come to terms with something I had always repressed, my feelings towards girls.

I knew the moment I started talking to a girl named Laura that I had feelings for her I would normally have for a boy and because of the people I now had around me I just didn't suppress it. I identified online and eventually to family and friends as bisexual.

My questions started with wondering how my god this loving all knowing entity I had always known was un-accepting and promoted the exclusion of the LGBTQ+ community from the Christian faith. I knew that this community was full of the most loving and creative and beautiful people I have ever met and that was the start of me knowing my relationship with God would never be the same.

As I grew up and have become an activist for the things that mean a lot to me I have stopped attending church and have begun to see that I do not want any part in ANY religion that takes part in shunning anyone based on how they identify. I have been vocal about this to many people some more excepting then others but regardless I will never again take part in something that I myself am not 100% accepted within

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