6 Topics You'll Never Hear Discussed In A Church, Even Though They Should Be

6 Topics You'll Never Hear Discussed In A Church, Even Though They Should Be

The church should be a place we can talk freely about our sin, imperfections, and need for grace.

The church is not just four walls that religious people enter to worship. It's composed of all God's imperfect people who generally call themselves "Christians." It's not a place; it's a beautiful puddle of broken people searching for hope, redemption, and grace. This is how I will be defining "church" throughout this article.

Sometimes Christians forget where their sin left them and fall into pride. When this happens, people outside the church look in and see a religious sect full of religious people who are only taking applications for religious, put-together individuals to join.

This is the church's greatest downfall.

It, and myself, need to remember that we didn't redeem ourselves from our sin. By the saving grace of Jesus Christ, our sin and its penalty was nailed to a cross where it will stay defeated. We must transform into humbly broken people that open up their hearts to vulnerability so that when people look at the church they say, "Oh, we aren't so different."

In order to make this happen, we, as a church, have to start talking about the imperfect areas of our lives and leave our religion and pride at the altar. Jesus never told us to "Go, and be perfect." So why do we try so hard to be that?

My greatest desire is that the church can open it's heart to its own imperfections and that we can start talking about:

1. Mental illnesses

You might be surprised by the number of people affected by mental illnesses. Approximately every 1 in 25 people suffer from a mental illness. So in an average congregation size of 150, 6 people suffer from mental illness and probably more with anxiety and/or depression.

It's easy to think that time and a lot of prayer will "heal" them, but mental illnesses are tricky. They are persistent. Many people make the mistake too of equating them with faith. I made this mistake with a friend of mine who was struggling with severe anxiety. The person may be drowning in his/her own thoughts but this in no way means that they have stopped hearing God.

When I asked a friend about his own personal struggle with depression, he agreed that if people within the church were wiling to talk about the issue instead of putting a "band aid" on it, others might have revealed their own struggle with depression and been able to help him through his.

2. Sex and sexuality

Let me define sexuality here as involvement in sexual activity that is not sex. This could be alone or with someone else. Either way, it's not a comfortable topic that is passed around in the church. Here's why it needs to be, though: We all have this desire. It's something that was instilled in every one of us at creation, but was distorted by the curse. We need to know how to handle it and told that it doesn't define us or our walk with Christ.

Also, sex. I get that the church wants to scare teenagers and make them think sex is a terrible thing so they won't do it. But can we talk about how beautiful it is between two people who are madly in love and bound together by the commitment they made to God at the altar?

3. Prejudice

We tip toe around it, but we can't avoid it. Prejudice is still prevalent in our culture. The church tells us that all God's people are created equal, which is true, but the conversation about prejudice needs to be deeper than that.

We should be asking questions like: How can the church create diversification in the congregation? What are ways that we can build relationships with every people group in the community? How can we show people that we are all broken and in need of a Savior?

4. Faults within the church's beliefs that don't correlate with the Bible

Each denomination has its own set of beliefs that sets it apart from the others. When the church was dividing and forming different denominations, their interpretation of the Bible determined their beliefs. Unfortunately, we will never be able to look at the Bible with clear intentions and read it without inflicting our own agenda. Therefore, no one denomination will ever be correct.

What we should do instead of trying to prove why our belief system is "the right one", is have open conversations and challenge what the church is doing or where it is headed. We should pray for clear eyes and open hearts that allow us to see our imperfections.

5. Grey areas

Grey areas are parts of our lives like financing, nutrition, intimacy (all the things that aren't sex) before marriage, and social media, that aren't discussed in the Bible. Therefore, we are left with the struggle of applying Christian principles that are discussed in the Bible to these areas.

The even bigger problem is, though, that we don't sit down and openly talk about them because once we do, we have to release them to God. I'm sure many of us could also call our grey areas "freebies" since we don't feel directly pressured by Biblical instruction to make a change.

6. Broken families

With a 50% divorce rate, I have to ask myself why this isn't discussed more by the church. Every single person has been affected by divorce in some way. Divorce isn't the only criteria for a broken family, though. Many children are raised without fathers. Some families are intact but are physically or emotionally abusive.

It doesn't matter if the person is middle class, lower class, or upper class. Broken families happen to white people and black people. They affect people with a steady job and those struggling to survive. As with prejudice, it's prevalence necessitates our discussion. When people start talking, others speak up and they realize they aren't alone. We can help each other through tough times if we just say something.

DISCLAIMER: The purpose of this article was to prompt discussion. I in no way claim to know how to fix these issues. I do know that as we open ourselves up, God's light will shine into our discussion and our lives. My prayer is that the church becomes a safe place for broken people of all races and social economic statuses.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-front-of-church-alter-226345/

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Just For Clarification, It Is Possible To Be BOTH A Christian Woman And A Feminist

A clarification of God's intention for men, women, and their value.


I read an article recently about a young Christian woman who said that she didn't believe that God intended women to be equals. Here was the Title, "I'm A Christian Girl, And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals."

I read the article, mostly because the title was a little unsettling, and understood where she was coming from. It held a great intention and standing in Scripture coupled with a passionate affection for Jesus, which I adore. However, the language and word choice could be used to reinforce the notion that Christians and God view women as lesser than men.

And so, I wanted to clarify a few things to ensure clarity. The idea that God views women as less valuable than men is truly and wholeheartedly not true. There is so much significance, value, intention, meaning, and need for women. And men, equally are as vital, so valuable, full of meaning, and so uniformly needed. And to put both of them on a scale to weigh out our equality in significance and value almost feels... completely unnecessary and out of place. Both men and women hold an equal degree of worth as persons, as they have both been made in God's image and are heirs together of eternal life.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1: 27
There is neither Jew nor Greek, thee is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:38

We cannot reproduce one without the other. We depend on each other for the very carrying on of our beings. And we depend on each other in a lot of other contexts too.

I'd like to open this up to a little bit more of a dialogue because I think there's some disconnect between how feminism and equality are understood and defined as in today's context. So just to be clear on exactly what we're talking about, here are some definitions from dictionary.com of the key terms that this topic revolves around:

The definition of equal: being the same in quantity, size, degree, or value.

The definition of equality: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

The definition of feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

The definition of a feminist: A person who supports feminism.

Just a quick disclaimer, people have adopted various definitions of these terms in today's culture. For my purposes, I will be referring to the definitions listed above.

So, essentially a feminist is someone who supports the state of equality in status, rights, and opportunities relative to men. Under that definition I, a Christian woman, would define myself as a feminist. In a general view, I support and encourage the state of being provided the same opportunities, rights, and status as a woman, and essentially as a human being.

With that being said, however, I also believe that men and women are different, and have been given roles within the family setting to fit those differences. Here is one passage that describes a woman's particular role in a marriage.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5: 22-24

I think the word submit immediately scares us as women. It scares me a bit, to be 100% honest. But after being married and realizing that leadership is so important, and us working as a team together is hugely vital to our marriage, the roots of this message are being realized and understood further in my own life and as a wife.

The type of submission described here is not the obedience children owe to their parents. Nor is it stating that all women should submit to all men. This submission is in a specific marital context for the work of a harmonious and healthy marriage. It goes on to command the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. The husband is to be a leader that loves, cherishes, listens to, and protects his wife. We have both been given a responsibility and a role to ensure that our marriage is working toward one common goal. That we are on the same page because ultimately we are on the same team.

So although men have been granted a role of leadership within a marriage, this should in no means imply that we are not equal to them. Equal in quantity, quality, degree, or value. There are millions of angles and coatings to this subject, so please forgive me for the gaps that I haven't addressed in this small fragment of writing.

I feel like there are millions of layers to how God sees us as people, too. He has created us, putting pieces of Himself of infinite worth and value into our the heart of hearts knitted in each of us, both male and female.

I hope you know that we are valuable.

You are valuable.

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11 Bible Verses To Help When The Anxiety Is About To Get The Best Of You

For times when things get tough


College can be a mixture of excitement, fun, definitely stressful, and full of anxiety. I know there are times when I am stressed and I feel like there is nothing I can do. Stress can be this giant weight that just wears you down no matter how hard you tried to get rid of it. These are a few bible verses that help me whenever I feel stressed or I am filled with anxiety.

1. Isaiah 41:10


"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Whenever we have fear, just know that God is with you. Through him He will give you strength. He will be there to lift us in in our times of fear and your anxiety.

2. Psalms 56:3


"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. Whenever you feel afraid or are dealing with something that you are not quite sure will work out, then just give it over to God. It will definitely help. It can help take off that weight that you are dealing with.

3. Philippians 4:6


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Whenever you feel anxious about something then give it over to God. A way to give it over to God is through prayer. There is power in the persistence of prayer.

4. John 14:27


"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you."

You cannot find peace in worldly things, but you find peace in God.

5. Psalms 94:19


"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."

The world is very good at making people stressed and worried. In this verse, the "cares of my heart are many" is talking about the different worries that people have, but in God, we can still find joy in the midst of all those worries.

6. Proverbs 12:25


"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad."

This verse goes to show that words can drastically effect a person's attitude and mood. Even when a person is going through something, kind words can make them feel better. If you read the Bible, I can guarantee that it will help you through anything. It is amazing what the Word can do.

7. Psalms 23:4


"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

This verse is an excellent reminder that through horrid things, God will be there to watch over you and protect you. There is nothing we cannot do if we have God there with us. We just have to remember that He will never leave us or forsake us.

8. Joshua 1:9


"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

The fact that God is with you seems to be a running theme in these verses. You would think that we would not forget it so easily since God has made it so clear. In God, we can be strong and courageous. We have nothing to worry about.

9. Matthew 6:34


"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

There are definitely things throughout the day that we can all worry about. It could be a test, a project due at work, or even friendship or relationship problems. However, worrying about it is not going to help. There is also no point in worrying about the next day because we will have no control over it. We do not know what the next day will bring so why worry about it? That is what this verse is trying to say.

10. Mark 5:36


"But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, 'Do not fear, only believe.'"

As long as we believe in Jesus then we have no reason to fear. All it takes is for us to believe that He can help us through anything.

11. Deuteronomy 31:6


"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

I referenced this verse earlier. It was sort of unintentional, but there is so much truth and power behind it. This verse relates to what it is saying in Joshua 1:9 (verse previously mentioned). That verse asks "Have I not commanded you?" This verse is telling us that we need to be strong.

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