Top Ten List Of Top Ten Top Ten Lists

Top Ten List Of Top Ten Top Ten Lists

You're already really confused aren't you? Well just you wait.
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There are two types of people in this world. Those who like top ten lists and those who really like top ten lists so they come up with their own top ten list of top ten lists.Then there are people like me who love them so much more than those pathetic wannabes. So I've compiled a list of my top ten top ten lists about top ten lists. So here we go.

10. The American Film Institute’s top ten top ten genres list.

I love movies so you’d think I would like a good top ten top ten list about movie right? Wrong. All the movies on this list are old. Some of them are even in black and white. Like "To Kill A Mocking Bird". If that movie was made today PETA would be all over their A*s's. Don’t they know Mocking Birds are an endangered species? It's exploitative white men who need to put their privilege in check. Shame on you AFI.

9. The Ten Best Top-Ten Lists by Tai Moses

Who is Tai Moses, I don’t know and frankly I don’t care, but her list came up on top of the google search results when I typed in “top ten top ten lists.” So I figured I had to throw this list on. None of the lists on her list have anything to do with each other. There’s one list about “words” another about "birds" and then she has a list about "lists." Don’t think too much about it, it will make your head hurt.

8. The TopTens.com Lists of top ten.

Okay, so this one isn’t just one top ten lists about top ten lists, it's an entire website called "Top Tens" dedicated to top ten lists. All 83,330 of them. They claim they have a list for “everything under (and including) the Sun,” but ironically enough they do not have a top ten top list of top ten lists. Or in my case a top ten top ten top ten list. So do you want to sue them for false advertising or should I?

7. A Top Ten List of David Letterman’s Top Ten list.

Do you remember who David Letterman was? Yup neither do I but apparently he was the king of Top ten lists cause there’s a list of his top ten lists. He has old people read off top ten lists like Snoop Dog (whom I’m told also goes by Snoop Lion), Jim Carry, and the beach boys who aren’t actually boys at all, they’re really old men, so who wants to sue them for… just kidding they won’t be alive long enough for you to collect your money.

6. The New York Times’s The Top 10 Top 10 Lists of 2013.

#TBT to this little gem. It was written by a “journalist” who just really liked top ten lists. It was 2013 give him a break, they were popular. The incredibly prestigious New York Times (winner of117 Pulitzer Prizes) published this list which includes “10 Greatest Farts in Live TV History,” and “10 Best Cassettes of 2013.” 2013 was a long time ago, but it wasn’t that long ago that people were using cassettes, unless you’re a hipster in which case nobody likes you.

5. Jacksfilms Top Ten Top Ten Lists

You know that awkward older brother that thinks he’s funny but really isn’t yeah, that’s Jacksfilms. Side note I’m allowed to make fun of awkward older brother because I am one but you can’t because you’re not. Somehow this guy has made a name for himself by making up words. Also stop making fun of Iggy Azziggy only Allah can judge her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZfXJaLCEMk

4. Facebooks Top Ten top ten lists of the year

Not much to make fun of here except the fact that Donald Trump was #2 on a list of politicians, Donald Trump more like Ronald Rump am I right… Tell me I’m right Jacksfilms… TELL ME I'M RIGHT!! No, but the best part of this list is that their top ten list only includes nine lists. This is how you know the world is going to hell in a hand-basket.

3. 10 Reasons I Hate Top Ten Lists

Haters gonna hate. I love that the first reason she states for hating top ten lists is that people make them for attention, which she obviously didn’t do especially by making a pretentiously ironic 10 Reasons I Hate Top Ten Lists. And it’s also a good thing she’s not doing this for attention because she didn’t get any with her meager 33 Facebook likes and one goggle plus share which might be saying something that the one person using google + shared her article, except that no one likes that guy either. Also, she’ll probably get more attention than this piece of garbage will. Also, just so she wouldn't have a top ten list she made 11 points and put #11 at the end of her countdown. How. Creative.

2. The Top Ten Top Ten Lists in Viral Views Ten!

It’s only a great list if people actually read it, that's why my list sucks and I have self-confidence issues because nobody’s going to read this. Anyway, most of the lists on that list are boring except the one about babies and that's because everybody like babies unless you’re Jacksfilms. Don’t be like Jacksfilms.

1. All-Time Top Ten Lists

This is the greatest! The most best! The All Time Top Ten List of Top Ten Lists ever! I have never seen a better more complete list of top ten lists. It’s even suggested in the name of the list! What is it a list of you ask? Books, it’s a list of books. I know I was just as disappointed as you. Nobody reads anymore especially when there are spark notes and everything else other than reading.

Most of those books are movies and everyone knows the movies are always better than the book. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a hipster or Jacksfilms and what have we learned about either of those two? Nobody likes them. Alright, well maybe 2 million people like jacks films and almost every teenager I meet nowadays is hipster of some kind so maybe the only person that nobody likes is me. But I don’t care because I just wasted 10 min of your life unless you’re a slow reader or Jacksfilms, in which case it was probably more like an hour.

Cover Image Credit: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a6/Vermin_Supreme_on_Lesser-Known_Presidential_Candidates_Forum.jpg

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Abortion Bans Are Only A Small Part Of The Republican War On Women

These bans expose the Republican Party for what it truly is.

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This week, several states passed laws that ban abortion after six to eight weeks of pregnancy, before most women even know that they're pregnant. The most egregious of these is Alabama — the state has banned abortion except for in cases of danger to the mother. Exceptions in the cases of rape and incest were actively voted against by the state legislature. Under the new law, any doctor who is caught giving an abortion would be sentenced to 99 years in prison, and the woman would be charged with murder.

Apart from the fact that this explicitly violates the decision of Roe v. Wade (which is the point), this is only a small part of the slow but steady degradation of women's rights by Republicans in the United States. To anyone who believes that this is simply about people being "pro-life" or "saving the children," then tell them to look at what happens after the fetus is carried to term.

Republicans oppose forcing fathers to be involved in the lives of their children that were forcibly carried to term, desires to cut food stamps and make it more difficult to feed said child, cut funding for affordable housing to make it more difficult for them to find homes, cut spending to public education so these children can't move up the social ladder, and refuse to offer the woman or her child health insurance to keep them both healthy. What about efforts to prevent pregnancy? Republicans also oppose funding birth control and contraception, as well as opposing comprehensive sexual education. To them, the only feasible solution is to simply keep your legs shut. They oppose all of these things because it is, in their eyes, a violation of individual rights to force people to do something. The bill also makes women who get abortions felons, and felons can't vote. I'll let you finish putting those two together.

If you view it from this framework, it would seem like Republicans are being extremely hypocritical by violating the personal freedoms of pregnant women, but if you look at it from the view of restricting social mobility for women, then it makes perfect sense. The Republican dogma of "individual rights" and "personal responsibility" is a socially acceptable facade that they use to cover up their true intentions of protecting the status quo and protect those in power. About any Republican policy, ask yourself: does this disperse power or consolidate it? Whether it be education, healthcare, the environment, or the economy, Republicans love to keep power away from the average citizen and give it to the small number of people that they deem "deserving" of it because of their race, gender, wealth, or power. This is the case with abortion as well; Power is being taken from women, and being given back to men in a reversal of the Feminist Movement of the 1970s.

Republicans don't believe in systemic issues. They believe that everyone has the same opportunity to succeed regardless of what point they started. This is why they love capitalism so much. It acts as some sort of great filter in which only those who deserve power can make it to the top. It's also why they hate social policies; they think that helping people who can't help themselves changes the hierarchy in a negative way by giving people who don't "deserve" power, power. Of course, we know that just because you have money and power doesn't mean you earned it fair and square, and even if Republicans believe it, it wouldn't change anything because it wouldn't change how they want to distribute power.

In short, Republican policies, including abortion, leave the average American with less money, less protection, less education, worse health, less opportunity, fewer rights, and less freedom. This is NOT a side effect. This is the point. Regardless of what Republicans will tell you about "inalienable rights" and how everyone is equal, in reality, they believe that some people and groups are more deserving of rights than others, and the group that deserves rights the most are the ones "that will do the best with them." To Republicans, this group consists of the wealthy, the powerful, and the white — the mega-rich, the CEOs of large companies, gun owners and Christians.

So, who do Republicans think deserve power and give it to? People who look and think like them. This, however, begs the question: Who do they want to take it from?

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