As a young adult in my early twenties, it is expected or assumed that I have had my experiments with illegal substances starting at least at the age of 16. People typically say, “Oh you’ve drank before, you’re just becoming sober now.” I tend to disappoint and baffle them when I explain I’ve been sober my entire existence.

They tend to ask, “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you ever want to have fun or just drink for the hell of it?” As you understand now, I say no I don’t want to or no I haven’t, but you don’t understand why.

You never know someone’s background until it is said. You never can know someone’s experience with having drugs or alcohol affect their life from an early age. My parents were addicts. I was taken from my home as an infant and placed with child protection services. My adoptive mom, who recently passed away, went through a long process of background checks and home evaluations to make sure her lifestyle and homelife was suitable for a child coming from that kind of past.

I can be completely honest with you and say I’ve never had the desire to drink or participate by using any illegal drugs with my friends. It wasn’t until she passed away that I considered throwing my life away because what was the point of pursing my purpose in life if she couldn’t be here by my side. Yes I say, “throwing my life away” because I know for a fact addiction runs in my family. A big part of my family are addicts and alcoholics. My mom never told me once to stay away from it, she never had to really educate me on it, I just knew it wouldn’t lead to the best possible life I could live.

My mom was a respiratory therapist and worked with sick babies. These babies typically weren’t just born sick, they were born addicted to drugs. You could see it in her face how much pain it caused her that she couldn’t always save them. This is one of the reasons I never want this to be a part of my life. Not that I would ever use drugs while pregnant, but why even participate if this is what it can lead to.

My second reason? I never want to be so dependent on a drug or alcohol so I can numb the feelings life brings. I want to feel everything this life throws at me, you get one life, experience every moment of it. My third reason. I said before people question whether or not I actually like to have fun. I simply love to prove them wrong because I don’t need drugs or alcohol to have fun. I prefer to remember the fun nights I experience with my friends and loved ones. My last reason, I made a promise to myself as a child I wouldn’t participate until I was 21 years old. As you know, my mom passed away when I was 20. I still debated if I would listen to my childhood self and drink anyways. I made the decision to have my first drink when I am at peace with my mother’s death. Who knows? Maybe I won’t ever drink, but I will never let my peers or society pressure me into something I don’t have a desire to do.