9th-grade year & nothing was better for me, I continued to fall, just to find myself getting back up alone & falling again. My mentality was broken & my life was so incredibly changed. I was hurting, not just mentally, but physically hurting myself over & over again. I was nowhere to be found in the world of hurt & lies. The cuts & the endless nights of throwing up food, my heart shattered. I was gone & didn't really want to be helped. In the fall of 2018, I started high school, even worse; at a new school. I didn't know but a few people & I never found out how to handle people that didn't like me, because I try & be kind to everyone, so that wasn't a problem for me.
I walked into school & I saw a light. not another student or "a new best friend" but a teacher. Every time he walked into a room, he would light everything about it up. It was not a good time for me, as we've established, but I needed somebody; anyone. What was different about him? He understood. He understood that not everyone is perfect. You can't always live a perfect life & he knew that. Something about him helped me entirely. He filled my heart with peace like none other. I knew when someone was hurting & needed somebody & he was always there to help.
Over the course of the year, he continuously helped me with my schoolwork & he knew when I was struggling. He never shamed me for anything. Constantly encouraging to keep pushing & trying the best that I can for anything. For once in so long I felt like someone understood & helped me at the same time. I didn't feel pressured to do good or felt the need to hurt myself over any grade that I received. I felt like he gave me a fair chance. He knew what I needed to do mentally & physically to help myself. I was happy.
In the spring of 2019, I have made the decision to remove myself from this new school & go back to my old one, not because I can't handle it physically, but it mentally destroys me more than I've ever been. Sometimes it isn't a bad thing & I know it's good for me. As I sit in my Earth & Environmental class one last time, I see hold tears from falling out of my eyes because this teacher will no longer be my teacher any longer. He endlessly helped me with everything that I could possibly need help with & I'm beyond thankful for him because of what he's done for me. The saddest day will be my last because I now know that all the mental help could only be around for one year.
