When you first started dating, he was the dream guy. The one that everyone could see was making you smile from ear to ear like a kid in a candy store any time they were around. They made you fall for them so fast and so intensely that once they had you there was no going back. You thought they were going to be your end game, your best friend, and hopefully your forever. For a short time they truly seemed like they were. But, it didn't take long for your longing for each other every second to turn in to a battlefield in front of your eyes. You gave them everything you could, maybe even made the mistake of tying your finances in with theirs, but for some reason, it was never enough. Soon, the smallest thing you could ask for seemed like asking them to physically move a mountain and the love they appeared to have for you in the beginning quickly turned into resentment and a locked phone that made you cringe every time it would ding with a new notification.

The day they left was one of the hardest days of your life. Having to admit that they truly had been willing to throw everything you had away in the blink of an eye was not something you were expecting... At least, not from the man that you knew in the beginning. You see it turns out that all the warnings they gave you were true. They told you they were no good, that they "couldn't change" and that being a hurtful and spiteful person was just who they are. You should have believed them.

The day they broke your spirit in two was a day you'll never forget, and it leaves you to this day questioning, "how could the person i fell so deeply in love with do something like this?"

The answer unfortunately is simpler than any of us would like to admit. They found you in a time that you were most vulnerable. A time that you had so much love to give and no where for it to go, a time where you didn't love yourself the way that you should . They saw the vulnerability in you, and the attached themselves to you like a leach, because they knew that the girl with the golden heart was easy prey. The man you fell in love with, was never the man that he truly was, it was the man he knew you wanted in that very moment. Which is why, once you were deep enough in his clutches.. the painful words, the fighting, the lack of attention, the constant cheating, and the always doing whatever he could to tear you down became your norm.

I know it is painful to realize the man you love is simply a facade created by a devious person to get, whatever it is, they wanted from you. I know what its like to wonder why you weren't good enough because he simply up and left. No goodbye, no apology, nothing, one day he decided you didn't have what he needed any longer.. and then he was gone.

I know there are days you wish you could be like him. Days that you pray that you could be so cold and have such a lack of emotion that him not being there didn't effect you at all. I know there are days you wish you could have found someone else before they left and clung to the new person instead of having the loss you were feeling tear you apart inside. I've felt every one of the feelings you have, i've asked all the same questions for days, weeks, and even months at a time. You simply are so mind blown that someone could "love you" one day and then break you so completely the next and not have a single care in the world while doing so.

The truth is honey, you're never going to be that person, or not feel when you lose someone you, at any point in your life, loved. You'll never be able to use someone for your own personal gain, and then throw them away like they are nothing, Because that;s not who YOU are.

You are a builder. You always see the best in people and believe they can change even when they tell you they can't. You don't give up on people because it's difficult, or you have no more personal use for them. You can't fathom hurting someone the way they hurt you because you chose to help people, and push them to become a better person. Honestly, you would still give them the shirt off your back in a heart beat even after all the pain they caused you. You will NEVER be like them, no matter how much you wish to be sometimes, and that's because you have a pure heart not a tainted one. You have a heart that will help people in every way and love them as deeply as possible. Most likely even giving them the love you should be giving yourself.

Stop beating yourself up for being broken. Not feeling strong enough, not getting through this quickly, because you were never meant to. You were meant to feel because that is how you give the love you have to the rest of the world. And trust me, you are right when you think that you weren't enough for them.. Because, in all honestly, you were TOO MUCH for them. You worked so hard to try to help build a person that NEVER WANTED to change. They get joy out of breaking people like you, because they are selfish people and take as much as they possibly get until they leave a hollow shell behind.

Let's be honest here. THEY were never enough for YOU. They never gave you what you needed mentally, emotionally, or physically in your relationship. They always made you feel like a selfish person even if you asked for the smallest thing you needed to supply some happiness of your own. They never gave anything, because they refused to, it didn't benefit them. They took a part of you. But, thankfully, you're still here to fight another day. Time will heal all the wounds they gave you. If you show yourself even HALF the love you gave them i promise you will be in a better place. I know it's easy for me to say.. i'm getting through it day by day. But remember golden heart, don't EVER let him turn you into someone like him, because deep down he probably hates himself inside and is just projecting all of the flaws he sees in himself onto you.

I know it feels like having a golden heart takes everything you have from you at times, but i promise you, that beautiful, selfless heart of yours will be the biggest blessing you have in life. Because you have the ability to help others become better people. You have the ability to be a light in a world full of hate and darkness. You are a lamp in the cold night of so much selfishness and hate. But don't forget to take care of yourself along the way. So smile, push forward and love yourself. YOU DESERVE THE WORLD. So stop settling for this fake love and love yourself. Because once you do, that's when your forever will know your ready.