To The Girl With Anxiety Who Is Trying To Date-- It's Okay To Not Know
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To The Girl With Anxiety Who Is Trying To Date-- It's Okay To Not Know

Trust your gut feeling and let the rest settle itself out

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To The Girl With Anxiety Who Is Trying To Date-- It's Okay To Not Know
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

Trying to date when you have anxiety is hard. Trying to date when you have anxiety and every guy you've ever been with has left after a few weeks is a f**king nightmare.

When you have anxiety when dating with no previous let-downs, it is easier to say to yourself "I am overthinking, everything will be okay, it's just how my brain works." The bigger problem when you have anxiety when dating is when every time you've felt anxious about a guy you're dating, those anxieties proved to be the reality. The line between your negative thoughts and reality becomes blurred and you don't know how to differentiate between the two anymore.

After you've been left, you realize how easy it is for people to leave. Most of the time them leaving has nothing to do with who you are, but rather whether or not you are what they want. You can be perfectly good enough and not be what someone wants. That's scary because it means anyone can leave at any time for a reason out of your control.

Knowing that makes it even more believable that things won't work out, because why would they? If you can be perfectly good enough and still be left then what's stopping the next guy from leaving? Why would it work out with this new guy if it didn't work out the past however many times?

There's really no answer.

You try to talk your way through it, try to know what the reality is. When talking to your friends they usually say something like, "Just trust that things will work out!" and you're like, uh, yeah, I wish I could! The odds are heavily against you, and each let down only makes you less and less sure of yourself.

You know that you will be okay if it doesn't work out, you know that there is a possibility that it could, and you know that you can't know everything at once.

In all honesty, sometimes your anxiety is you. I don't mean that it's your choice to feel that way, I mean that sometimes the other person is not giving you a reason to be anxious. Anxiety makes you over analyze every word and every action. It makes you see things that aren't even there.

Often times we let our anxieties take over us and then it becomes reflected in our own words and actions. We may become distant, aggressive, or hurt. This can lead to a strain on the relationship because here we are being upset over something that our significant other doesn't even see.

However, there is a difference between anxiety and your gut feeling. Your anxiety is when you think that being left on delivered for 10 minutes means that he has lost interest. Your gut feeling is when he is leaving you on delivered for three to four hours at a time when he used to message you back almost instantly all day.

So, the best advice I can give based off of my personal experience is this--- try to separate your gut feeling from your obsessive thoughts. Get in sync with your body and your brain to know whether you're just overthinking or whether your doubts are plausible.

And honestly, life's too short to stress over people who are unsure about you. Ask people what they want, what they're thinking, etc. If you're the right person for them they won't mind answering. If they get upset, that's their loss, not yours.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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