To the girl that’s never been enough, you’re not alone. In fact, we are the majority. It’s the other thirty percent of women who were lucky enough to find the perfect man. You know the kind – believes in a higher power, addicted to coffee and has enduring optimism.

I hear you girl, and as someone usually does, I’m here to say it’s going to be okay. First off, let’s get rid of that phrase. The, you’re not enough, because that is just as incorrect as it is to assume the Earth is flat. I mean, come on, that’s just ridiculous. You’re enough, I’m enough. It took me long enough to realize that. For the longest time, I stood in my very tall and very guarded tower, waiting for some knight in shining armor to break me free and repeatedly tell me how amazing I am, and how I am enough for him. Which is just preposterous. Once I realized that no one else determined my own self-worth, I was able to live a happier and less insecure life.

Believe me, I’ve been through years and years of rejections and, you’re just not my type, or even, you’re amazing, but I don’t like you in that way. Every time I have ever liked someone, I built up the courage, walked over, and confessed it to them. And yet, here I stand, still in my tower (it’s much shorter now and much less guarded boys, just FYI), single.

The voices in my head had a field day every time this occurred, each rejection getting more and more painful. Then, being the pain seeking idiot I am, I continue to be their friend. Being there for anything they need, because getting over someone is just not that easy. Of course, there’s always the secret hope too. The tiny piece of your heart that survived and is just waiting for the rest of it to come back together. With each heart emoji and each photo that he’s tagged you in, your embarrassing and clandestine hope peeks through the cracks. Trust me, I understand how hard it is to hold on to joy when all of that is happening with your heart and your mind.

You are your own worst enemy. Those voices in your head are yours intermingled with the enemy’s. They are you, allowing negativity in. You control a lot more than you think you do, and if you feel particularly oppressed or insecure that month, pause and intervene. Cut those voices off at the source – you.

I’m not going to hide behind my computer screen and paint you a picture of pure happiness in the face of rejection, because it’s not possible. It’s not realistic and it’s not healthy. You can’t ignore your own pain, otherwise it’ll build up, one brick at a time will guide your tower closer and closer to the sky – further and further away from the ground and from everyone down there. It’s hard. Plain and simple. It’s extremely hard to be happy and move forward. The only thing that keeps me smiling (most of the time) and putting my feet in front of the other is that tiny bit of hope.

I stopped directing it toward the one who rejected me, but the one I have yet to meet. The one I know God has waiting for me, because that rejection was not, in fact, a rejection. It was a block, a guard. God sliding his hand between the connection, stopping something that would have not worked out or would have hurt me more. Perhaps it was the right person, but the wrong timing. I believe that is possible too.

All I know is that His plan is there, paved and ready for me to walk it, and it’s a heck of a lot better than anything I could have ever even imagined, so I stopped trying to make my own journey and follow the road made for me. I struggle a lot still, but knowing He’s already been where I’m going and has already paved the way for me, keeps me going.