Let me say this first. I'm not the victim here, even though I feel like I am.

You were everything to me at one time. Everything that it made me nervous and anxious that things would change at one point or another.

I ended things and you had every right to think of me as the bad guy in this equation. You told me how much you cared. I want you to know I cared too

You were patient. You know the saying "love is patient, love is kind". Well maybe it, this, us wasn't meant to be, as patient as you were.

It was that night that you told me that you moved on that broke me completely. If you cared that much would you move on so quickly or were you just desperate? I wish I had the answers, but at the same time, I don't. It's not that I wanted what we had back. It hurt. It hurt that you were able to move on that quickly while I couldn't sleep that night thinking "Am I really that forgetful?" or "Did you care for me at all?".

It gets better by the day, but sometimes, all at once the memories come flooding in like a tsunami. The first time you took my hand in yours, the way you sang those sappy country songs in the car and said: "That's how I feel about you.". Those will be the things I will never forget. Sometimes I wish I hadn't met you, but I can't bear to say those words out loud.

The thought of running into you sometimes has me on edge. We have mutual friends and its hard to hear others talk about you at times. You probably hate me, because I hate myself sometimes too for what I did to you. This is me at peace with the whole situation. What I did wasn't right. You were the perfect definition of what I wanted someday, just maybe not today.

xoxo