To Stay or Not to Stay

To Stay or Not to Stay

A fight can change the way two people feel.
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Mr Brooks Point of View:

Wednesday comes around and Rebecca still hasn’t talked to me about her new job position. I don’t know why she hasn’t told me about it yet, I thought we were supposed to be equal partners in this relationship. Is she just going to leave me after all we’ve been through? What’s going to happen with us if she never comes back? I don’t want to seem selfish but I really care for her and I can’t imagine a life without her. She’s my everything and I don’t want to lose her. But how do I bring up the conversation without getting mad? I don’t want the last interaction with her to be a fight but we need to bring up the conversation some how.

Rebecca’s Point of View:

During my lunch break I go to the table Alan is sitting at, “Hi sweetie, how is your day going?”

“Alright.”

“Is there anything wrong?”

“No...”

“Do you want to take a hike later?”

“Uh, I was thinking about watching a movie at my place.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” The rest of the time, we sat in awkward silence. I knew there was something wrong, but if I push him I know he won’t tell me and will get mad even more.

The ending of the day rolls around and I head to Clair’s office to give her my decision. I enter her office and sits down, “Hi, I have been thinking and I believe I have reached my final decision. I am going to take the job in New York.”

“Awesome! You are going to be fantastic at your new job, but I am going to miss you working here. Here’s your paper work, just sign here, here, and here. Then you should be good to go. Your flight is set for Saturday morning and here is your ticket.”

“Thank You, I can’t wait to start this new job. I am going to miss you and the store, I will visit sometime. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Your welcome, have a nice day and flight!”

As I walk out of Clair’s office, I spot Alan by the door with an angry or frustrated look on his face, it’s hard to tell with him. He looks down at my hands and I realize I’m still holding the plane ticket Clair gave me. I look up to meet his eyes and I see the look on his face and I know I’m in trouble.

Clair’s Point of View:

I look through my office window and I notice that Mr. Brooks is giving Rebecca the death look. I’m assuming she didn’t tell him about her new job. This worked out way better than I thought it would. They’re probably going to have a fight tonight and they won’t make up by the time she leaves. My plan is in motion and I will finally have a chance and will pick up the pieces!

Mr Brooks Point of View:

"We need to talk about this when we get home."After I say this she just nods yes. The whole way home was quiet and every time I looked over at her she seemed about to cry at any moment. I feel bad, but I also deserve to know what's going on. I don't want to lose her especially to a job and everything we've been through. When we pull in the drive way she doesn't seem to want to get out of the car. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yea, just give me a minute." I let her have her space and wait for her in the house. A few minutes later she walks through the door. We both walk through the house to the kitchen and sit down across from each other. I say, "So, I overheard you and Clair talking and you got a job offer for a store in New York."

"Yes, I was offered it only a couple of days ago."

"Why didn't you tell me about it, instead of me finding out?"

"I wanted to make the decision on my own."

"Well, were you ever going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you today."

"As a couple we're supposed to make decisions together, especially ones that mean you're leaving me."

"I know it was wrong to not include you, I'm sorry."

"So, what does this mean for us?"

"We could still work it out but it would be a long distance. I want to be with you."

"I still want to be with you too, but how can I trust you when you keep important events to yourself!?"

"You have to understand my predicament. I wanted to include you but I was worried what your opinion would be."

"But then we could've worked it out together like couples should."

"I agree, I was wrong and should've included you. But my decision has been made and it's too good of an opportunity to miss."

"I don't want you to miss this opportunity, but how can I know if we can work this out when you're keeping secrets."

"I promise I won't keep any secrets from you for now on. But maybe sometimes you have to trust me if I want to make decisions myself."

"Well I wasn't included in this decision so you don't have any problems making them on your own."

"I told you already why I made it, why don't you just let it go?"

"Me, Let it go? You're the one who's hiding things!"

"I'm not hiding things, I just told you."

"Yea, after you made the decision without me!"

"I don't understand why you're still so upset."

"It seemed like you don't need my input on anything, so have fun in New York!"

Rebecca's Point of View:

"Alan! Come back, we need to resolve this!"

"We just did," then he slammed the door. I can't believe this escalated so much, I didn't think he would get this angry. I still have to leave Friday whether he's on board with the decision or not. I will try to talk to him tomorrow, hopefully he cools down. I hope the job doesn't ruin our relationship because I truly love him and I don't know what I would do without him in my life.

Cover Image Credit: 14 Tips in Fighting Fair with your Partner

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20 Reasons You Should Date A Nurse, As Told By Their Significant Others

Who better to get advice from than the ones actually doing it?

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Have you ever wondered what it is like to date a nurse? Why do some people do it? Don't they have countless 12-hour shifts (including nights), bring home gross diseases, always tired, holidays are up in the air, and tell ungodly stories that make you nauseous? Well, there are a lot more bright sides we don't always see.

I could tell you that nurses are natural caretakers, compassionate, smart, a little sarcastic, patient, etc., or you can hear all that and more from people who actually date nurses.

So, I asked 20 couples to tell me why dating a nurse is the best decision you can make.

1. You get the best start to your day.

Ari and Victoria

"It means getting used to being woken up early in the morning by his goodbye kiss as he goes off to the hospital. As much as I hate my sleep being disturbed, I worry when I don't get my morning kiss." -Victoria

2. The BEST personalities come from nurses. 

Kristine And Makato

"You get to be with a person who has a genuine caring and nurturing personality. You get someone who can put themselves in your shoes and still find it within themselves to put aside their differences in order to make sure you are okay. You get a one of a kind individual that you feel can do anything because of what the field demands. You feel like the luckiest person in the world because of these things. ♥️♥️♥️" -Makato

3. No emergency will scare them away. 

Theresa and Andrew

"Ladies, you should date a nurse because you'll always have emergency care 24/7. Seriously, the other day I fell and cut my knee. He was over with supplies and basically performed a full freaking head to toe assessment before I even knew what happened. Also, have you ever seen a man in scrubs? It's really a win win situation" -Theresa

4. You probably don't need health insurance

Alyssa and Mike

"So I don't have to go to the doctor's every time my head hurts. You can help." -Mike

5. They have the best sense of style.

Jenny and Emily (basically each others significant others...bffs 4 lyfe)

"Date a nurse because they are kind, compassionate, and always there to take care of you. Sick? BOOM, they know what to do. Need someone that you can trust to talk to? BOOM, they'll listen and never tell a soul what you said. Like a girl in uniform? BOOM, scrubs all day every day." -Jenny

6. You have your own walking, talking, WebMD (without the whole "you're probably dying" thing). 

Taylor and Matt

"Date a nurse because anytime I do something stupid like fall in the river, dislocate my knee fishing, cut my hands on rusty objects, knock teeth loose, get sick, or worry about medical problems, I have my own personal WebMD." -Matt

7. You get random check ups. 

Hannah and Robert

"I was watching TV, and out of nowhere, she's checking my pulse. She tells you you're breathing too much. She tells you you're not breathing enough. It's constant check up's." -Robert

(In our defense, we check peoples respiratory rate for a living. I know when I see 24 breaths/min or 14 breaths/min. Let me be.)

8. Your anxiety will be diminished and you save a ton of money. 

Ari and Victoria

"I spend way less on doctor bills and medical supplies now that I can ask my boyfriend my medical questions instead of having to go to the doctor to be told I'm perfectly healthy. He keeps my hypochondria in check for sure. My response to the littlest pain or annoyance is no longer 'call an ambulance'."-Victoria

9. They know how to call out bullshit. 

Cheryl and Carmine

"You do not get a lot of sympathy - unless you are REALLY sick or hurt !" -Carmine

10. They are always willing to help out. Because of this, YOU get to help out by becoming a practice dummy! 

Sammi and Caleb

"When dating a nurse you become a patient 24/7. Any new thing she's learning in class, gets practiced on you. If you're thinking about dating a nurse I'll tell you this, DO IT! They'll always be looking to help anyone who's sick or not in a great place mentally and I believe that to be the greatest trait anyone could have and I see that in a majority of nurses" -Caleb

11. They change you for the better. 

Erica and Jack

"Okay so she makes me grossly healthy, when I want burger king or something like that she offers to make healthy burgers, she convinced me to quit cigarettes because it is unhealthy, she checks my blood pressure constantly and when it's bad she lets me know and I go to the doctor's" -Jack

12. You basically have your own superhero.

Bryanna and Ryan

"Uhhh, duhhh you should date a nurse because they save lives; you're basically dating a superhero." -Ryan

Isn't this all we wanted as kids?

13. There is no such thing as being "too gross". They've seen it all. 

Jocelynn and Brandon

"You should date a nurse because you'll have someone who's able to patch you up after a stupid night out with the guys. Plus, you get a girl who's always responsible and selfless who wears her heart on her sleeve on the job & off. Knows how to be serious, yet still manages to use her sense of humor. Also, I get to pick my nose & fart without her being disgusted by it (MOST TIMES)" -Brandon

14. You're confused a lot because of all the terminology they are excited to share with you, but  don't worry they'll explain it. (We know the doctors never do *cough* *cough* another reason to date a nurse). 

Julia and Will

"You confuse me with words of nursing that I've never heard of or can barely even pronounce. Be prepared for overthinking and stress. A good thing about dating a nurse would be they know how to help when you get sicky, and it's hard to gross them out." -Will

15. They'll deal with your shit...sometimes

Zoe and Bobby

"Cause they take care of you when you're sick, lol. And they have a lot of patience..."

16. Are you a nurse dating a nurse? You will understand each other and their struggles immensely. 

Stanley and Rachel

She said : "You should date a nurse because they're so caring & know how to take care of you & are really smart & hardworking (aka my baby)"

He said: "Date a nurse because they are the most passionate of people. They care harder than anyone else and they will always be concerned with you and making sure you are okay, not just outside with cuts and bruises but on the inside where it counts in your heart. Also like, we just get each other and understand the time and work it takes and that's friggin huge"

AKA, they're basically the same human.

17. You kinda sorta maybe get a free pass to do stupid shit, because your nurse will be there. 

Erin and Joe

"You can do stupid shit and not have to worry about going to the hospital because she'll take care of you when you ultimately get hurt"-Joe

18. You have a knight in shining...scrubs? Yea, scrubs. Scrubs are definitely more moveable than armor. They're always ready to come save you.  

Mary and Nate

"I would say, 'Dating a nurse is peace of mind knowing that they have things under control when you slice your finger open even though they're an hour away' -Nate

19. If you're still wondering if dating a nurse is best for you, take it from these ladies who LIVE WITH ONE. (They're basically each others significant others).

Sarah (the nurse) with all the ones who put up with her: Maggie, Jenna, Claudia, Sophie, and Mellissa

"They complain about a headache but won't take medicine. They will be unavailable for hours at a time when exams are coming up" -Jenna

"When they come home tired from clinical and get drunk they want to kiss everyone" -Sophie

"You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know about the human body. They'll talk sense into you if you go too deep into WebMD" -Jenna (again; she was very passionate about this topic)

"They become your own personal WebMD, more logical though"- Mellissa

This is a confirmation that everyone else's statements are correct.

20. But honestly though....

Jess and Filip

"The real question is, why would you NOT want to date a nurse?!?" -Filip

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I Know That If We Can Make It Through Long Distance, We Can Make It Through Anything

Why long distance is the best thing to ever happen to me

Emi
Emi
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I don't.

It isn't.

There are parts of being in a long distance relationship that I never know if I will fully be able to articulate. The moment I said goodbye to my boyfriend when we left for college freshman year, I closed the door behind me as he drove away and just crumpled to the ground and sobbed. This sounds unbelievably dramatic, and I had never been an emotional person until this moment. However, the fear of the unknown was paralyzing. My best friend was about to live five hours away from me, I was going to be in a different time zone, and I didn't know when I was going to see him again. This was my first real experience where I felt like I had just lost someone I loved.

Of course, I didn't really lose him. But that moment, everything did change. I was forced to become independent and had to re-learn how to find happiness being alone. And boy, was I alone. The first few days after he left, I was still at home preparing to move to my school. I could hardly function. I barely ate, and I had never felt so drained of energy. Whenever I would play music and a song that reminded me of him came on, I could not help but cry. My parents physically dragged me to a "going-away" dinner, and I only spoke a few sentences the whole time. Again, this sounds ridiculously theatrical (and if I had not actually lived through it myself, I would agree). My first semester at college, I was the definition of lost. It took me a long time to find myself without my best friend by my side.

But gradually, things got better (and continue to). Now, our goodbyes are still sad but not quite so sloppy. I no longer feel empty without him. I have found my passions at school and with these discoveries have come people that share them. I have an established group of friends, I have a clear professional direction, and I have goals that feel achievable. Re-creating my identity outside of a boyfriend, while unbelievably difficult, has forced me to self-reflect on who I am as an individual and who I want to become.

Because I don't have a boyfriend around to spend weekends with, I spend all my time with my friends. I have time to dedicate to school, an on-campus job, and serving on executive positions for multiple organizations. My schedule is my own, and I can create time to go to the gym six days a week. I am able to get coffee with potential employers and explore the city of Indianapolis without worrying about canceling plans with my boyfriend. I have truly had an independent college experience, and I do not doubt that this has allowed me to become more involved and invested in my friends, my schoolwork, and my extracurriculars than I would have had we gone to the same school.

These are the things I try to remind myself of when we spend Valentine's Day, both our birthdays and almost every single weekend apart. This is what I force myself to think when he is missing from my sorority's formal, date nights, and philanthropy events. When my roommates spend the night with their boyfriends multiple days a week, I smile and say, "Have a good night!" I try not to envy their position too much because I tell myself that long distance has given me so many opportunities.

This is true. But I also miss him, all the time. One thing is for certain, long distance has made me a much stronger individual. I have learned how to find happiness outside of being with him. I have discovered more about myself the past few years alone than I would have had we been at the same school. I have fostered life-long relationships with my friends.

And, at the end of the day, I know that if we can make it through long distance, we can make it through anything.

Emi
Emi

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