To My Person in Heaven,

I have been wanting to write this to you for a long time now, but I never quite had the words to say the things I was feeling.

You were like a grandmother to me, so much more than a weekly visit. You were always so kind, telling me all about your childhood and speaking the language you were brought up speaking. You told me romantic stories about the way you met your husband, wartime, and how he provided for you. If only you could see the man I am in love with now, I think you'd approve.

There are so many things I wish you could have been around for, Junior prom, decision day, graduation, going away to college. I wish you were able to see me in my cap and gown, and even today, an Americorps member, volunteer, good student, active in student government, but somehow I know you have seen all of it, from the best seat you could have had.

I wasn't always appreciative enough of you when you were still walking this earth, though I know now how much you meant to me. I think of you all the time, and I know your soul watches over me from Heaven. I feel your love still, though not palpable, it is still here.

I still have the extra large dark chocolate bar in my fridge at home for the extra bad days. When you left I decided I would only eat it on my worst days, as it is the one comfort I have from you that is left. I keep the trinkets you gave me in a safe place in my house, so when I buy my own home, I can still cherish them the way you did. I also saved the pillows you embroidered in the bomb shelters. It still amazes me what you've been through, and how beautiful of a person you remained. I hope I get that from you; No matter how ugly the world, I will stay beautiful on the inside, just as you did.

Sometimes I wonder about where you are, are you the small rabbits I see on campus? I see so many, everywhere, I assume they are you watching over me. I try not to think about the end with you, as I never truly got to say "goodbye." I know you got the flowers I sent in the hospital, but somehow, I feel like it wasn't enough. I know now that saying goodbye wasn't what I truly wanted, I was selfish and wanted to keep you alive for myself, but you couldn't stay. I know now you are with your daughter-in-law, and your husband somewhere beautiful, but you are also still living in my heart.

Every year, the anniversary of when you left us rolls around, but somehow I can't cry anymore. I feel your comfort, your protection, and I know you always have a home in my heart, though your soul is in heaven.