To my other half who puts up with so much,
When we met for the first time, I am certain you did not know all the baggage I would bring into our relationship. In fact, I am certain you did not know about a lot of it for the first several months we were together. I've always been good at hiding things and for many months, me saying "I'm fine" was good enough for you. You couldn't read me behind the smiles and the laughter because I had yet to reveal so much to you. Even now I have the hardest time pouring my heart and soul out to you because I never know what you might say or do. Because I always fear that one day I will say or do too much and that will be the end. So I am sorry for not telling you when I am feeling upset. Even though you can read me like a book and don't believe me when I say "I'm fine" now.
To my other half who deals with my messy behaviors,
When we first met, I am certain that you did not know my bedroom back home was messy. Or that I had a tendency to leave dishes in the sink for a couple days before I could muster up the energy to wash them. I would clean my room and apartment vigorously before you would come to visit me at my apartment. I would clean your room at your house for you when I got there before you did. However, now that we live together you know that I take off my socks in the living room and leave them on the floor because I forget about them for weeks on end. You know that my car is always messy even though I promised you I would keep it clean for you. You know that sometimes I can't help being messy because I don't have the energy or motivation to clean. But sometimes you come home from work and I've scrubbed the entire bathroom or picked up the bedroom.
To my other half who knows crying is my defense mechanism,
When we first met, I am certain that you did not know how much I cry. Or that we would never be able to have a constructive argument without me crying. I am a ball of anxiety and arguing of any kind is a sensory overload for me. I am sorry that you can never say any feedback or tell me what you need from me without me getting over emotional.
To my other half who never gets alone time,
When we first met, I am certain that you did not know I would become clingy. I am certain I also did not know I would become clingy as I had broken up with two of my exes for them being clingy. I am certain that me only texting you every other day gave you false hope that I would be a normal girlfriend. I am sorry you never get a break from me. It's hard for me to be alone, especially in a place where I have no one besides you. I used to rejoice at the idea of sitting home and watching Netflix all day, but now it makes me cringe. Especially if you are in the next room, just playing video games when we would be doing something exciting.
To my other half who loves me endlessly,
When we first met, I am certain you did not know right away that we would get married someday. I am certain you did not know that you would want to live with me. I am certain you did not anticipate us looking to buy a house or talking about having kids someday. I didn't know right away either. I don't know exactly when I realized that you were who I wanted to build a life with. It kind of happened overnight and I was ecstatic that you felt the same way. I know I am not the easiest person to be with at times. I know that I cry a lot or start pointless arguments. I know that I don't always understand your humor and get upset. I know that I always want to play the same, boring video game or go to the same restaurant. But you tell me you love me each and every morning before work, each and every night before bed and each and every end of a text conversation we have during the day when we are working. You have told me you love me to the end of the universe all the way back to the beginning, that you will love me forever and ever. I will love you endlessly, for all your flaws or mistakes or bad judgment calls you may make.
To my other half who puts up with so much,
thank you for everything.
