In the last couple of days, I've met and talked to a good amount of people with the same experiences as me. Like me, they've been having difficulty with finding a place to fit in, struggling with finding people to click with. It's something that I didn't realize was so common until recently.
For almost my entire life, I've had a best friend and a group of friends who were almost just as close. We did everything together, and we never had to doubt each other's loyalties or dedication to each other. I didn't know then that that was a blessing I shouldn't have taken for granted.
I never lost my friends or had them betray me. I did leave them, though. After I moved away from them and to Georgia, I sought out friendships like those I had and a group of people I could be close with. I looked for my "perfect" friend group, people I would always be happy, smiling and laughing with. But I never found them.
You see, even after three years, I don't have that same kind of group. I have plenty of people I can talk to, don't get me wrong. But that special spark wasn't there. And in all honesty, I have to admit that I don't think I'll find it again. In fact, I don't think a lot of people will find it. At least not in high school. Who knows, maybe college will be the place we all find our favorite. But for know, we're alone; and that's okay.
Everyone I talked to was afraid of the idea of being alone, and despised the fact that they weren't part of a "group." But after talking to all those people who felt the same way and desired one of those friendships, I realized we had to learn to live without them. I mean, of course it would be nice to have a support system. It would be nice to have a shoulder to lean on and trust the most, but I think it's possible to not have that.
I think one thing people like me that complain about not having better friends learn from being alone is independence. I mean, we're not really ever alone/ We have students and friends everywhere, but people without these groups learn more from others. Instead of sticking with the same few people, we're able to spread out and explore other people and learn things from different groups of friends. And you grow to be your own person, not always dependent on that group, so if you needed to be, you would feel just as comfortable without them.
I have to admit, it's difficult. Of course it is. But the hard part is pushing to accept it; accepting that it's okay to not have super close friends, and that you really can make something good out of it. I think that learning to stop pitying ourselves and thinking about it in a negative light is the best way to solve any problem, this one included. Accept what you must, be hopeful that things work out the way you want, and if not, you'll be okay. All you really need is yourself anyways, and you, yourself, can make your life more fun and enjoyable depending on how you want to live it.
