Around the holiday season, everybody fancies wanting to be boo’d up so they can have someone to buy presents for, take them to family dinners, and to just do couple-like things, such as decorating Christmas trees together or going to Winter Wonderland.
Being in a relationship is more than just acquiring that person for a season, though. It's (if you plan on it) more long-term and less aesthetic than you think. Nonetheless, I’m going to tell you a couple of thing on how you can get drafted for this season's Cuffing Combine.
Determine if you are Actually Ready for a Relationship.
Social media has a way of placing a glamour on relationships, making it appeal to all the singles who long for what others have. However, you have no idea what happens behind their photos and videos.
My mama used to tell me everything that looks good isn’t good, and the same thing applies here -- just because they seem to have it all, doesn’t mean they actually have it. You also have to remember everything that someone else has may not be for you right now, or ever, which means to say that maybe you aren’t meant to be in a relationship in this moment.
Maybe what you’re experiencing in your life calls you to be alone in order for you to fulfill your purpose. Your purpose or your destiny may not be tied to a person in this moment, so if you believe you want a relationship, evaluate your life right now, in this very moment.
Consider every internal/external factor that could knock you off your game. Also consider if you are emotionally equipped to deal with someone else’s emotions.
Become the Person you’re so Bent on Your Future Partner Becoming.
I cannot tell you how annoying it is to see hundreds of tweets and Instagram posts a day on people saying, “If my boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t like this, I don’t want them,” or “My future boyfriend/girlfriend better be like this.”
In letting social media practically dictate almost every aspect of our lives, we have placed a standard of our potential love interest due to societal pressure. It’s because of this that not only do we put pressure on ourselves because we are afraid of getting a partner who isn’t suitable enough according to social media, but we place pressure on our love interests because now we’ve let them know they have to become someone other than themselves to achieve this “perfect lover” archetype.
If you aren’t anything close to what you expect your lover to be, then try to cut them some slack! Rome was not built in a day, and I can assure you that change is not simply lurking around the corner.
Have patience with your partner, and try to exhibit the characteristics you want them to have by performing them yourself. By making it a habit, they will learn from you, and hopefully they will begin to behave the same way.
Think Long Term.
Most couples on average last six months. This is referred to as the “cupcake phase.” It’s regarded as the easiest stage of a relationship because y’all are still getting to know each other, so it’s easy to put on these cheesy facades such as actually being sweet, thoughtful, etc.
You also aren’t used to each other, so it’s even easier to act like a brand new person. However, the real work comes in the next six months when the ugly is revealed in both of you, and you’re trying to figure out if you’ll tolerate it, love it, or dump it.
From this point, there are only a couple of ways your mind can think at this time. Short term -- where you want a fling so you can enjoy the cupcake phase and keep your life as simple as possible, or long term -- where you think beyond the six month statistic, and where you don’t even think months, but years.
If you initiate talking to someone you really like and they share that mutual feeling, then it will be hard not to imagine a future with this person. So once you develop a “long term” relationship mentality, then your relationship will already have its foundation.
So, before you go sliding in to the dm’s of your dream guy or gal with cuffing intentions, consider these three things, and I can bet you it will determine if they are actually worth your draft pick.
