The Stream Of Consciousness Of Bama Girls Vs. Bama Guys On Bama Game Day
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The Stream Of Consciousness Of Bama Girls Vs. Bama Guys On Bama Game Day

We all know how Alabama football games go, but what happens before kickoff?

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The Stream Of Consciousness Of Bama Girls Vs. Bama Guys On Bama Game Day
Lexi Vanderhill

What time is it? Oh right. It’s the most wonderful time of the year — no not Holiday season, football season. Or that’s how it might appear to someone who has never experienced an Alabama game day. Even if you have been to an Alabama game, your experience could be completely different from the person sitting next to you in the stands. Guys and girls tend to have different experiences, depending on what kind of football game it is going to be.

Let’s see what happens leading up to a 2 o’clock kickoff.

8:00 A.M.

Girls - Ohmuhgod I’m already late! There’s no way I can shower, blow dry, put my face on, curl my hair, straighten it when it doesn’t look perfect, try on half my closet, do my homework, find out where everyone is pregaming, find a ride to a pregame, balance my budget, workout, meet up with everyone for lunch AND get to the Quad at least three hours before kickoff.

Guys - Alright 6 hours til kickoff. I’ll just lie here for a while.

9:00 A.M.

Girls - *On the phone* “No Jenna, I don’t want to go to Sigma Apple Pie’s tailgate, Brock is going to be there... yes, we still have to walk past it if I’m going to look this good … How about Alpha Scrambled Eggsalot? They’re having jello-shots — wait one second, Jenna, my curling iron! My hair is on fire!”

Guys - Might as well watch ESPN and catch "College GameDay."

10:00 A.M.

Girls - Jersey or dress? Jersey with norts or skirt? How nice is this game? What team are we even playing? Do I have enough time to shower? Should I wear a dress or should I save it for a better team? But if I wear the dress I have to wear heels. If I wear the heels my feet will be destroyed. So maybe just the jersey? Or would my feet be OK in wedges?

Guys - Tough decision time... whiskey or vodka? How about both?

11:00 A.M.

Girls - How do I only have half a bottle of wine left? That’s not going to get me through four hours of a game. If Sophie would just get somewhere on time for once we could already be tailgating. Let me just throw everything I could possibly need into this ugly clear bag. Wait. WHERE IS MY GAMEDAY BUTTON?

Guys - Oh there’s my red polo. Doesn’t smell too bad, works for me. *gets phone call* “Oh hey man, yah, let’s meet at the tailgate in 30.”

12:00 P.M.

Girls - We finally made it. I can’t believe Brock was wearing a Beta Moo sticker - what a downgrade. How do I already have 10,000 steps in and we still haven’t met up with everyone we’re supposed to see? Crap I forgot to eat this morning. I forgot to check the weather too, I hope this dress doesn’t show sweat.

Guys - Natty and Miller? Sweet.

1:00 P.M.

Girls - OK, half my makeup has already slid off my face and my hair is somewhere between straight and frizzy. Is my foot bleeding? Probably. Good thing band-aids are the one thing I didn’t pack in this bag. Just focus on the calories you’re burning... almost makes up for not waking up early enough to workout this morning. We’re almost inside the stadium, I can do this. Time to go sit in a giant metal bowl for an hour while we wait for the game to start. I need to make sure I get pictures with everyone, but a really good one with Jessica so I can post it once I know we’re going to win.

Guys - Alright let’s move I want to practically be on the field.

2:00 P.M.

Girls - Roll Tide.

Guys - Roll Tide.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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