15 Tim Allen Quotes From "The Santa Clause" That Apply To Your Finals

15 Tim Allen Quotes From 'The Santa Clause' College Kids Can Use When Finals Are Tough Sledding

Just a reminder: Denny's is an American institution.


1994's smash holiday hit "The Santa Clause" saw Tim Allen don the big red suit and provided one of the best for-family films in a long time, while also bringing some great humorous moments that were not forced.

However, this is not a film review (which I would give an 11/10). Scott Calvin is literally all of us when it comes to being a college student during finals week. This is a perfect film to take inspiration from regarding the one week we always hate: FINALS.

There are some good quotes from Mr. Jolly Ol' St. Tim Allen that apply to your finals. Let's begin!

1. "We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liquor, played with my shotguns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women..."

When anyone asks you if you were studying with friends/classmates.

2. Doctor: "So what? You put on a little weight." Scott: "Weight? Does this look like a little weight to you?"

Your diet plunders come finals week. BELIEVE ME.

3. "Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?"

You during a study group....losing your mind.

4. "I'm in big trouble. Mm-hmmm"

Waking up after sleeping through an 8am final.

5. "Not necessarily. It could be rude, sarcastic, whatever it takes!"

When people say that drinking alcohol while studying is 'not good.'

6. "The only thing you need to worry about is where you're going to buy your sweaters after the circus pulls out of town."

Weird conversations with best friends during finals week be like.

7. "What are you talking about? Everybody likes Denny's, it's an American institution."

When you're all out of options, go to Denny's. There's a 24-hour one in Bangor, ME, fellow Black Bears!

8. "1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number."

9. "Well, isn't that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a PANZER! Well, kids, I...I certainly hope you have been good this year, cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home. Incoming!"

Mental breakdown 101

10. "Yeah, well, look at my hair. It's turning grey."

Same here, dude. Especially after seeing the seven-page long study guide.

11. "Oh, there's a problem right there: three car pile-up. I'm really gonna be late."

Procrastination heading to your finals.

12. "Where the hell this come from?"

LITERALLY every time something never learned in class pops up on the final.

13. "No thank youuuuuuu....Judy"

14. "It felt like 'America's Most Wanted'."

Exaggerating a story to your friend/parent about taking finals.

15. "I hope not. These are... A gift. Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas."

When the professor asks if you're looking at a cheat sheet.

Good luck on your finals and to all a good week! "After this, I'm getting a CAT scan!"

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Dear Taylor Swift, Christians Are Not Homophobic Bigots, Sincerely, The Majority Of Christians

Taylor, you need to calm down when talking about how most Christians act.


When Taylor Swift released her newest single "You Need to Calm Down" last Friday, I didn't agree with the entire message of the song, mainly because of its heavy political overtones. But as the great Dick Clark once said, "It's got a good beat, and you can dance to it." So, for what it is, it's really easy to dance to this song, and I can see it becoming a pretty big hit.

But then the video came out, and I saw something that really bothered me.

In the music video for "You Need to Calm Down", Taylor is seen partying and hanging out with multiple LGBT+ icons in honor of Pride Month, such as the hosts of Queer Eye, RuPaul, and Ellen Degeneres. There's also a moment with Taylor, dressed as French fries, renewing her friendship with Katy Perry, who's dressed as a hamburger, which is as amazing as it sounds.

However, there's another cast of characters which acts as a foil to the happiness and colorful joy which is taking place in the video. There's a group of protesters surrounding the trailer park where Taylor and all her friends live. They're all dirty, buck-toothed, and dressed like your typical redneck stereotypes. They're also holding up protest signs while screaming at everyone in the trailer park. I saw one of the signs said something about Adam and Eve, and I realized most of the protesters were most likely meant to represent Christians.

And that...didn't sit well with me at all.

I know that these people never explicitly said they were Christians in the video, none of them even wore a cross. But, whenever someone sees anyone protesting rallies and organizations such as Pride, I can guarantee you that most of the time, the first thing people think is that they're from the Westboro Baptist Church, which is notorious for its protests. And I won't lie, there are some Christians who act that way.

But if you haven't heard this yet, let me be the first to tell you that not all Christians act like that. In fact, most of them don't act that way.

Christians don't agree with the LGBT+ lifestyle because of what the apostle Paul wrote in the book of 1 Corinthians (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). However, Jesus never once taught that just because you don't agree with a person doesn't mean they're automatically your enemy (Matthew 5:44). Christians are supposed to represent the love of the Savior of the world, which encompasses every and all aspects of humanity. This definitely includes people whose lifestyles we don't agree with. By not showing love to certain types of people, we are directly going against one of Jesus's greatest commandments.

Not agreeing with people is one of the cornerstones of humanity. It's a divisive world out there to be sure, but that doesn't mean people from any side of the debate need to perpetuate the division. Grouping all Christians into one group of hateful bigots is no different than Christians grouping all the members of the LGBT+ community into one group of evil people. One of the key elements of Christianity is showing people who have different beliefs from us the same love Jesus would show to anyone. And I know I'm not the only Christian who wants to show love to people of all walks of life. I may be the only Jesus they ever see in their lives, and we all wish to express the same love to others.

So Taylor, it looks like you're the one who needs to calm down on this issue.

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