I grew up in Albuquerque, and I always thought that there were some pretty questionable drivers ‘round those parts. Upon moving to Phoenix, however, I realized that the drivers here are just downright terrifying. When I come back to Phoenix for school, my road rage goes into maximum overdrive as I become surrounded by people who don't know a break light from a street light, and I swear some don't even know where the street is. Nonetheless, the time has come for me to return to these dangerous freeways and scary drivers. Here are some thoughts I've had while driving about, and I'm sure any of my fellow Phoenix friends have thought these one time or another as well.

“That thing just there on the left of the steering wheel…that’s a blinker.”

I took Anatomy and Physiology in school, and that’s some complicated stuff. The automobile, on the other hand, is not nearly as complete. If you simply want to turn or switch lanes, there a handy little device that lets the drivers around you know when you want to do so. Use it.

“I have so much to live for!”

I want to graduate college, travel the world, and need to call my parents more! I swear I’ll do better God, if you’d just get me to where I need to go safely in spite of the worst drivers on the face of the planet.

“I’ve lived a good life.”

I think I can die someday happily knowing that I’ve lived a pretty great life. That being said, someday shouldn't be today, or any day I'm driving. On that note, let's hope my 10 minute drive to the grocery result involves me keeping my life.

“IT’S CALLED MERGING!”

This is a direct result of not having Driver’s Ed -- honestly, I just don’t have much to say other than: It's not that hard.

“Am I colorblind?”

Last time I checked, green means go, yellow means clean the intersection and red means stop. Phoenix might have me seeing double, or just plain wrong because Phoenicians are notorious for getting the lights mixed up -- almost as if they say, go whenever you feel like it.

“Thank the good Lord I had to take Driver’s Ed.”

I recently discovered that Arizonans don’t have to enroll in a handy little course called "Driver's Ed." This class is taken by 15-year-olds (at least in my state) where an instructor teaches teenage drivers to actually drive the correct way. The fact that Arizonan drivers NEVER had to take this course, is scary to me. The thought, itself, is scary to me. Basically, Arizona drivers just thrust their young out onto the road, assuming they'll teach themselves as they go. Yep, that explains everything.

"Maybe I'll just stay off the road as much as I can."

You know, Phoenix is a scary enough place without having to worry about the crazy drivers and the road rage at every intersection. Maybe I’ll stick to staying around campus, as it's the only way to ensure I won't die on the roads. Those Phoenix drivers can jeopardize everyone else’s safety. I don’t have the patience or stamina to deal with them much longer.