1- Okay the plane just shook, we’re definitely crashing.
2- Hurry up man, how long does it take for someone to go to the bathroom!
3- Shut up, you whiny baby.
I say as I, an adult, is whining to my mother about the baby, who cannot control itself.
4- There are no good movies on this plane.
Guess who's stuck watching Friends for the 50th time.
5- There are too many good movies on this plane.
Looks like I'm not getting any sleep on this 9 hour flight!
6- Wow the clouds are so pretty.
Gotta take a picture of that.
7- The dreaded shoulder sleeper strikes again.
8- *hopes that there are extra seats so that I can sleep without having to sit up*
My sleeping position must be comfortable, and by comfortable, I mean cramming myself on two seats with the seatbelt jabbing my sides and the turbulence waking me up every 5 seconds.
9- I’m such a rebel, my seatbelt isn’t fastened even though the seatbelt sign is on.
10- Planes just keep getting more and more uncomfortable.
11- I wonder where the left phalange would be if it existed.
12- This food is disgusting.
I'm in economy! I deserve better than this! Oh..Economy is the worst? Never mind.
13- Wow, I’m surprised by how great the food is here.
Mom, can you get the recipe?
14- It feels like I just ate a clump of salt.
Yummy. Getting my minerals in. Thanks airline food!
15- Wow these eggs look kind of weird. Wait...That’s bacon?
Yes I get it, I'm in economy, but I don't deserve to witness this utter disgrace to food!
16- Are we there yet?
Oh, 5 more hours you say? Wow, maybe I can get some work done, or start reading my new book *violently begins laughing*
17- That was the longest flight of my life.
Yes I know it was only two hours, but in dog years, that's a really long time, and so imagine if a dog was on this flight. Imagine how they would feel.
18- That was the shortest flight ever!
Thought no one ever.
19- I shouldn’t have eaten before getting on the plane.
20- I wish I ate before getting on this plane.
21- You mean to tell me that this 5 hour flight is only giving out peanuts and water?
The curse of flying economy strikes again.
22- Hey, I paid good money for this flight - you can afford to give me the whole can of Iced Tea.
23- Oh no, first the baby cries, and now there’s snoring?
24- *stares intensely at the flight map* Why is it taking us so long to cross this damn ocean?!
25- Why is there an ashtray in the bathroom if smoking is not permitted on this flight?
I demand answers.
26- I can hold it in until we land, I’m not that desperate.
27- Please bladder, I said to hold it in!
28- Why does it always feel like I’m about to die in an airplane bathroom?
29- Yes Hilda, I get it, the safety instruction card is located in the seat pocket.
30- Finally, back on the ground, where everything is nice and safe.
Except that there are way more car crashes in a single minute than there have been plane crashes in all of history (this is by no means an accurate statement, but I'm just saying).
