"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

My family is a quote family. Around our house, there are various plaques with different sayings on them. When I was in high school, my mom had one in her bathroom with the serenity prayer on it. Curious, I asked her why she had it up in the bathroom instead of somewhere else.

"Each morning, when I am getting ready for the day, I see this, and it prepares me for the day," she said. She gave me one of my own after I had a fight with my friends, telling me that it will give me some resolve and patience when I need it the most

I fought with myself about being a Christian though in high school because the guys I liked were not Christians. I thought that if I rebelled, I could find a new, cooler path for myself. That people would like me for being authentic.

But I didn't think about how not having a relationship with God would affect my college life. In my freshman year, I began to take International Relations and English classes so that I could major in them both. But the rigor was much more than I anticipated; after a semester of five classes, I would have a psychotic episode (caused by sleep deprivation) and leave Florida State for good.

While in recovery at various hospitals and rehabilitation centers, something similar to the serenity prayer was circulated among the patients, especially those with a dual-diagnosis, because of its positivity and life-affirming message. After I had recovered from delusions and hallucinations in the first few months, I talked more about it to my mom and patients about having faith once again.

My mom brought me my plaque at her visitation one day and it helped me take recovery one day at a time. It was frustrating at how slow the progress was, but my faith was improving each day. I would wake up to the plaque and feel a little more optimistic about my health.

Then I decided to go back to college to relieve an incomplete grade. I found a Christian group of friends who I could share my testimony with and be real with. Even though in my freshman year at Florida State I struggled with my faith and finding a community for it, I had found it at my local community college where people understood that having faith is not about wanting to be perfect but wanting to be forgiven for their flaws and problems.

Yet I continued to struggle throughout the rest of my college years with my faith and mental health. I would lose sight of who I was and behave totally out of character. But now that I am waiting on God for my next chapter in life to start, I find myself relying on the serenity prayer once more.

The serenity prayer gives me hope now when I think there is none. It gives me peace of mind when everything is out of control. It gives me faith though, the most important thing to me. My faith has only grown since I learned the serenity prayer. And I am so thankful for that.