One of my favorite methods of procrastinating is watching TED talk after TED talk on current social and political issues, religious debates, and speeches about why certain foods make us happy. I recently viewed a talk entitled "Millennials – Why They are the Worst" by Kelly Williams Brown. After hearing what Ms. Brown had to say, my interest was piqued. Why do so many people hate my generation? I embarked on a lengthy personal journey in the middle of Panera Bread to discover why mass numbers of Americans have a general distaste for a group of individuals, most of whome don’t even identify as millenials.

Millennials are generally defined as the demographic of individuals born between the years of 1980 and 2000. Some common thoughts about this group is that it is made up of people who are entitled, narcissistic, and possess the sweeping desire to accomplish as much as possible with minimal amounts of work. You will hear it again and again that “millennials are all the same.” TIME Magazine wrote of millennials that “they have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb the corporate ladder. They crave entertainment but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial.” People tend to judge groups more harshly if they are part of the objective out-group. It may seem like an easy way out of the conversation about millennials to say that Generation X-ers, Baby Boomers, and older generations judge millennials so severely because they are jealous of the perks that we have at our disposal. But this possibility should not be so readily dismissed.

During her presentation, Brown encourages the audience to think of their 14-year-old selves, their 21-year-old selves. She asks them if their views about life and goals relating to careers, to marriage, to education, differ from those in their prime. The answer was a resounding “yes," which shed some light on the harsh criticisms that almost everyone is guilty of. Brown goes on to say that part of life is “having to deal with the somewhat messy and almost always complicated process of growing up.” How true this is. Older generations may be harboring resentment toward those younger than them simply because they “have it so easy," from technology making what used to be tedious tasks effortless to social networking sites that eliminate the fear of isolation innate to being human.

Why is it, then, that the apparent reaction to these advantages is to innundate younger generations with pressures to meet important milestones earlier and earlier, and find ultimate professional, personal, and physical perfection younger and younger? Millennials, you can’t really blame those older than us for hating how effortlessly we seem to navigate through a complex world. However, they hesitate to really absorb what life is like for us. As mentioned before, pressures to have success in all facets of life hit us sooner and harder. We have been conditioned from the age of 10 to make as much money as possible, because that is what success means. A lot of older adults will jump to say that life in a technologically advancing society is easier for those raised with the Internet, failing to consider those children who do not have the resources or funds to access the highest caliber of technology. Brown discourages older adults from making those assumptions that millennials “have it too easy, especially when it is becoming inherently clear that they don’t.”

Another interesting point brought up by TED speaker Scott Hess is that millennials often hold a mentality that appreciates “commerce lubricated by conscience.” What this means is that millennials grow up generally hating large corporations, but also adopting the mentality that these corporations are the only groups properly equipped to save a planet ruined by past generations. We purchase things like TOMS that help people in need, while simultaneously feeding economic superpowers. The benefit of being raised as a more environmentally conscious and socially tolerant group of individuals is the feeling of desperation to preserve and improve what we have, which is simply a result of the wasteful behaviors that preceded our increased knowledge about the world around us. Brown addresses the fact that, when surveyed, millennials ranked their life goals in order of importance, and the results were clear. More millennials, on average, valued one day becoming a good parent, husband, or wife, and an upstanding citizen, above their own professional endeavors. What does this show us? That millennials aren’t nearly as self-centered as you may think. In fact, these all sound like rather selfless mentalities to be held by a group entirely made up of narcissists.

So, what’s my point? We are, despite popular myth, a generation of thinkers, and doers, and creators. Yet people outside our group are quick to make assumptions and create labels about what we represent. Even the name “millennial” was brought to us by people who don’t consider themselves members of the group, those who were old enough at the time of our births to realize that we were different from them. This is unavoidable, as every generation and every coming year brings a melting pot of different levels of intelligence, innovation, and wonder.

I urge older generations to hesitate when making sweeping generalizations about my generation. I urge you to focus on the positive changes we have brought the world, rather than selfie sticks and paleo diets. I urge you to consider the pressures our generation is subject to, between body image issues, drugs, changes in healthcare laws, and the overall incentive to earn as much as possible in as little time as possible, all while fighting to contradict every stigma that surrounds our group. I urge you to think twice before assuming we are all like the disgruntled, headphone-wearing, pimple-faced, rude teens you encounter in checkout aisles at the grocery store. Instead, associate us with the dedicated, hard-working, empowering young people who are feeding the hungry, developing incredible medical technologies, eradicating deadly diseases worldwide, and paving a path of achievement for future generations. We navigate through life hesitantly, but without any more protection than past generations. One of my professors put it best when he said “we should always seek to understand, never to judge.”