Christmas time is just around the corner, and hey, gift ideas are hard to come by. I'm here to tell you this list is not Christmas gift worthy and shouldn't be purchased at any time in the following weeks. I'm not ashamed to admit I've gotten some crazy things off of Amazon before.

For example, I've purchased a perm in a box, a deep neck one-piece swimsuit I've never worn in public because everything would fall out, and wigs because I got too deep into YouTube and thought I could pull it off like those wondrous women in those videos. Safe to say I wasted a lot of money on things I thought would be useful but weren't, and here is a list of things no one in their right mind should ever buy.

1. You Can Now Buy a Keg of Ranch

First off, we all know ranch is great, but do we really need a keg size amount? Even for a party this is a bit excessive. This is enough ranch to bathe in or even recreate a wrestling match with instead of using jello.

2. A Handheld Egg Cracker/Separator

Seriously!? Who doesn’t know how to crack an egg? This is the silliest thing I’ve ever seen. There is no point in owning this contraption unless you only have one hand and physically can’t open an egg by yourself.

3. A light to put in your toilet to make it glow

Okay…I get that walking to the bathroom in the dark is a task, but I’m more terrified of illuminating the bacteria and grime that builds up in there. I don’t really want to scare off any visitors with lighting up the stains in my toilet. Especially if I haven’t gotten around to cleaning it yet.

4. Hitch-Mounted Stripper Pole

What person comes up with this stuff? I mean, it’s not safe to use, and would someone really wear heels up on that thing? The only time I could think of someone using this is when they’re really drunk. If that’s the case, it’s probably a really dangerous thing to own which can incite some extremely stupid ideas.

5. Flavored Lickable Wallpaper

We all love Willy Wonka and his amazing tasty wallpaper idea, but in reality, this is just unsanitary. How many people do you think licked this wall? It’s the equivalent of catching a disease from public toilets, it's just gross.