Things Never Work Out Exactly The Way You Expect

Things Never Work Out Exactly The Way You Expect

Sometimes you just need to adapt
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I'm the kind of person that really enjoys having a plan for something and I find myself getting kind of frazzled when things don't go the way that I had planned. I knew that going abroad was going to be different and I knew that there would be adjustments so it's not like I wasn't mentally prepared for what was to come. However, there is only one thing that is completely throwing me for a loop. THE FREAKING WEATHER IN ITALY.

When I decided to come to Florence I was under the impression that it was going to be relatively moderate in temperature and sunny pretty much every day. That was naive of me but when else are you supposed to think when all the pictures you've ever seen of this country are set under beaming rays of glorious sunlight? Since I've been here the only time I feel real warmth is when I'm taking a scalding hot shower or when I sit in my kitchen with the oven on and open (I'm actually doing that right now as I type this article).

Listen, I understand that it's winter and that obviously March doesn't mean summer temperatures but I really wasn't expecting literally freezing weather all day every day. When I packed my suitcase I left sweaters and coats at home because I thought it would be excessive to bring them since it was going to be warm anyway. HA! Now I'm really regretting only packing seven sweaters to last me the whole semester.

All of this to say, I'm still having a great time and I really am getting used to it but when you idealize something in your head it's never going to meet your expectations. I based everything I thought about Florence on the two days I spent here in the height of summer three years ago.

This whole experience has really taught me about being able to adapt to any situation and that even if it's the complete opposite of what it's like at home, you'll get used to it and everything will be great. So, I'll sit here in the cold waiting for it to actually SNOW in Tuscany like the weatherman is predicting for tomorrow. I'll embrace the fact that I have to wear four pairs of socks when I leave the house and when I get back home to my apartment. I'll deal with these things with a good attitude because eventually, it will get warm. Eventually, I will regain feeling in my fingers and toes.

I'll be able to eat a gelato in order to cool down instead of eating it and only having my teeth chatter even more. All the while I'll be even more grateful for everything because of the cold that I endured. And even when I'm walking around feeling annoyed and frozen I just need to take a minute to remember where I am and how fortunate I am to be here. Studying abroad has been the only thing I was absolutely certain I wanted to do in college so I'll be damned if I let a little (well a lot) cold ruin my time here.

Cover Image Credit: Ellinor Lindahl

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To The Girl Who Hasn't Been Herself Lately

Your spark return, and you will shine like you were meant to.
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Life gets tough. Life gets too much to handle sometimes, and those times make you stronger. However, right now, it seems like you have lost yourself.

It’s difficult when you catch yourself not being you. When you do something or act a certain way and just wonder, “what did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening? When will it get better?” The way you’re feeling is not so much that you’re unhappy, you just feel weird.

Your day will come. I promise you. This is just a phase.

The day you realize how much you have grown from this point in time will be your reward. It is so hard to see now, and I feel your pain.

Your light will return to you. Your pure bliss moments, they are seeking you. Your laughter where your tummy aches is in your reach.

Our moods change far too often for us as humans to understand why, but the encounters you make every day have this effect on us.

You must remember the pure happiness you experienced before your first heartbreak, before the first friend became someone you thought they weren’t, before you lost your innocence. That was a time of true joy as you had not a care in the world for the things that would harm you. Better yet, you didn’t have the option to experience them because you were just a child.

The world can be an ugly place, and your attitude towards life can change every day. One thing is for certain: you did not lose who you are internally. We all put on a face for the world. For the people who we try to impress. For the life we want to live. For the things we want to achieve.

Your definitive personality is still in the works. Believe it or not, it always will be. Times like this change us for the better even though we can’t see it.

Your happiness will return. You will be a better, stronger version of you. In fact, you will be the best version of you yet.

Once this phase is over, you will be okay. This I promise you.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Sutton

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We Need To Start Taking Sexual Assault Against Men More Seriously

If you wouldn't say it to a woman, why would it be okay to say it to a man?

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Meet Becky. Becky is an attractive, 17-year-old woman looking to find an agent to help her Hollywood career. She finds an excellent, popular agent who invites her to his house for an interview. They have drinks and chat, getting along wonderfully all the while.

But things change quickly. The agent keeps giving her alcohol despite her young age until she is undoubtedly drunk. Suddenly, he climbs on top of her and begins to fondle her. She's torn; she can't insult him without ruining her career, but this isn't what she wants. She's able to push him off without aggravating him, but she knew she couldn't report the issue without angering him and his colleagues. She waits 11 years to report the incident, only to learn that she wasn't his only victim.

It's always a horrifying story. A woman was pinned down and groped without consent by an adult man who had no excuse not to know any better. You're undoubtedly disgusted by the agent's actions, but would you feel the same if Becky wasn't a woman?

If it changes your opinion at all, you're a hypocrite.

Becky doesn't exist, but this is a true story according to Blaise Godbe Lipman, an American actor, screen director, and screenwriter. He along with several other young men, such as Lucas Ozarowski, claim that child talent agent Tyler Grasham made "unwanted advances" towards them and came out with their stories as the #MeToo movement gained traction in 2017.

Lucas Ozarowski's Facebook Post Lucas Ozarowski's Facebook post accusing Tyler Grasham of sexual assault

This isn't just a small group of men though. A 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control found that approximately 16% of men in America had been sexually assaulted, but that percentage ballooned to 43% in 2018 after the MeToo movement brought greater awareness to what sexual assault entailed. 1in6, an organization dedicated to raising awareness about sexual assault against men, thinks that these numbers are still inaccurate. According to 1in6, men are less likely to disclose sexual assault status and "[o]nly 16% of men with documented histories of sexual abuse (by social service agencies, which means it was very serious) considered themselves to have been sexually abused, compared to 64% of women with documented histories in the same study." Because of these differences, the incidence of sexual assault against men may be significantly higher than we've come to expect.

But we have a problem as a society: we don't take sexual assault against men as seriously as we take sexual assault against women.

Take Terry Crews' case, for example. The former NFL player and actor in "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" was groped in 2016, but he only revealed this information to the public in 2017 as he joined the #MeToo movement. His case was more widely publicized than that of Lipman's and Ozarowski's and some people were... less than empathetic.

King T'Tywala's tweet King T'Tywala's tweet regarding Terry Crews

Unfortunately, this is one of the kinder tweets he received. I will not show the following tweets due to the language used, but the people throwing insults about Crews' masculinity ranged anywhere from the relatively unknown to larger names such as 50 cent. Rather than attacking his claims, many people felt the need to take a jab at Crews' masculinity and capability as a person—just like they've done with other men in his position.

Despite the widely held belief that men need to be strong, calm rocks with good control of their emotions, they aren't inherently stronger than women when coping with the aftermath; a man can feel guilty, anxious, hopeless, and even suicidal after the fact. Men can go into crisis, men can feel inferior, and men can fear for their lives every night when they're safely tucked away in bed.

Just like women.

Sexual assault simply doesn't make the victim any "less of a man." It isn't funny. It doesn't make him weak. The only difference is that people are more likely to look down on him and less likely to support him than if he was a woman. We need to address this and start moving forward as a society so that men start receiving the compassion and support that women do after a horrific event like this. By discarding our ingrained beliefs about what a man SHOULD react like, we can respond properly to what that man DOES react like and give him the help he deserves.

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