If you think asking a girl to be friends with benefits is okay, it's not. If a girl says she’s not looking to be in a relationship then she means it. Don’t push her to change her mind or to be anything but a friend because she will cut you off. When I think of being friends with benefits I think of a man getting exactly what he wants from her and then eventually finding someone else to do the same, and that’s just sickening.

All you girls out there, if you have never been asked this question before, you should consider yourself lucky because it can put you in the worst situation possible. You think, "Wow, so I really can’t be a friends with a guy because they all only want one thing and we know what that is. Yes, SEX!"

Okay, we get it. You’re a guy and you want to be in a relationship one day and just love this girl to pieces. But now this girl is not looking to be in a relationship so you think of every possible way to try and win her heart. You take her out to dinner and to movies and text her every day. You make sure to say good morning and goodnight. You ask her how her day is going and try to put a smile on her face. But she still won’t budge and she gets tired of giving you the time of day. So you get mad and you get anxious so you think to yourself, “What can I possibly do to win this girl over?” You convince yourself that maybe she will be a friend with benefits, maybe you can just sleep together and she will fall for you that way. I guarantee you, majority of girls will not fall for you that way and that is no way a man should ever treat a woman. If she doesn’t want to be with you, talk to you, or be friends with you, then I suggest leaving her alone.

So, ladies, you start to think that all men will act like this towards you just because one did.

Well, you thought right. Other men now start to see you as this type of girl, and so they try to get your attention. They tell all of their friends that you’re an easy target and you will probably do anything they ask. They start to see you as a vulnerable, Junior in college in her 20s who has nothing to worry about but drinking and partying so she will definitely be down for anything.

But, no. I am sorry, but I am not vulnerable, I am not down for anything, and I do not worry about drinking and partying.

I, myself, have been put in this situation before and it can make you feel horrible. It also gives you a totally different outlook on men. Now you get scared to trust anyone because you’re scared of being put in that situation again. So, you cut off any guy that tries to speak to you and tries to put in any effort, which sometimes can be a good thing because you get the opportunity to take time to yourself to get over it.

So now you finally meet a guy you really like and you think that things will go great and they can go further. But then he starts to think you aren’t interested in him because you are keeping your guard up. You don’t say much and you are quiet majority of the time. But he keeps putting in as much effort as possible to make you realize not all men are the same and that he is different. And he is different, so you start to loosen up and put a lot of effort into him as well. Before you know it, you are in a relationship that you thought you would never be in. Now you thank him for showing you that they aren’t all the same, and for giving you the opportunity to love again.

So, I am sorry, but no, I will never be a friend with benefits.