I don’t have a type. That’s what I try to believe. Even though everybody has a type they just don’t like to admit it. See I love me a tall light skinned brother that is going somewhere in life. I’m not hard to please and I’m definitely not a gold-digger, however I want somebody with a strong head on their shoulders.

Don’t get me wrong, I could attract a man that has got the whole package and have had many to desire me, however, that’s not how it ends up going. So this is where my, “I don’t have a type,” idea comes to place. Somehow, all the guys I end up dating or talking to are not in college and really doing anything with their lives. At this current moment, I’m drawn between two boys. Yes, I meant to call them boys because I feel like a Man is somebody who pays their own bills, or is handling their business.

When you truly have love for somebody, it is hard to let them go. Now, boy #1 let’s just call him Blake. Blake and I have been on and off for three years. I truly have love for Blake and can see myself marrying him. However, Blake does not have his business handled. I try to motivate Blake to go to college but there is only so much I can do. To push somebody for greatness, that person, in turn, has to want to push themselves. Blake and I are in a great place right now because at the end of the day, Blake will forever be in my heart. I feel as if Blake was doing something with his life it would be a done deal; it’s just that fine line there that keeps me from really wanting to be with him. I’m no gold-digger of any type but I can’t do everything by myself. I don’t want Blake to feel as he can just have a regular job for the rest of his life. He doesn’t need to be making as much as or more than I do, but he can’t feel as working at a gas station for the rest of his life is okay with me, because at the end of the day that doesn’t get the bills paid. I’m thinking logically, yes, but that’s because you shouldn’t date nobody you can’t see yourself marrying.

College isn’t for everyone, and I understand that, but my significant other has to have plans for himself. That’s where Blake lacks and I just don’t see that fire in him, even though I know he can do it. I know Blake is there for me and thinks I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. I can be bold, no make-up, stink, get fat, not be with him, but I know he would still love me for me, and I feel every girl needs that in their life.

Now to boy # 2; let’s call him Josh. Josh is very handsome and is bilingual, however Josh is not really doing much with his life right now, either. When I look at Josh, I get butterflies. I met him a year ago at club Empire and after that we went to IHOP. The fact that he paid for me and we had just met was nice. The thing that really tied me to Josh and I knew that we could really have something I found out that night. For one thing, he makes me feel gorgeous and makes me laugh. Furthermore, what really put the cherry on the top is I had a wig on that night that was sewn on. The top was a little loose, because it was only sewn on at the sides. So after we left IHOP, the top was pushed back but he just pulled it to the front and fixed it. My hero! Afterward, he kissed my forehead and said that I was so beautiful. From that moment on, I knew that boy was going to be in my life.

Overall, I just want Blake and Josh to really get their lives together and do productive things. I’m not the type of girl to give up on somebody so that's why I still deal with them. Even though people think I’m stupid for hanging around, they don’t have the feeling I have when I’m with them. They don’t understand my love for these two. They treat me like a Queen and give me their last and that why I will forever love them. So no I don’t have a particular choice in men; Blake and Josh have proven that.