Since my freshman year of high school, I have loved theatre. However, I didn't know that I wanted to actually pursue it until halfway through my senior year. Studying it was literally a last-minute decision. My school didn't have a drama program, so I was left to teach myself by watching and listening to Broadway musicals, teaching myself how to be a theatre person.
In high school, I received so many negative comments about my major because I was "too smart" for it. Where I'm from, the arts are not respected whatsoever, and it really is sad to go back and watch students not be able to express themselves thoroughly because there are too many small-minded people. I really took their negativity and turned it on its side to push me to go further with my theatre dreams, even though I wasn't accepted into my dream school.
But, you know, I'm OK with that.
After graduation, I wasn't sure what to expect from a collegiate theatre program. Would it be difficult? Would my classmates be like me? Friends? Shows? There were so many variables that I wasn't aware of, including jobs that have to be there in order to even have a theatre, and I was introduced to all of them within the first two months of my first semester of college. I was very intimidated. I struggled every day because I didn't consider myself good enough to continue with the art. It hasn't been easy to watch others succeed around me when I felt like I hadn't gotten very far or learned anything very useful.
However, my luck changed after a long break.
I have never regretted my decision to major in theatre, despite all the negativity and lack of experience I had put myself through by choosing it. I've always been happy to be at a university studying what I know I was meant to study. There are many people who wake up, work, sleep, and then repeat. I wake up every day not knowing what could happen with an audition or a rehearsal; it's a game of Who Knows every single day! Like little surprises, even if they are bad.
I am happy, and I can always say that I am able to wake up every day pleased with the fact that I am doing exactly what I'm meant to do, which is rewarding, especially when you are accepted into programs that you had worked so hard for. Theatre is a real field, despite what many think. It requires skill, extreme discipline, time dedication, and enthusiasm. Through rehearsals, tech, and run time, we theatre people barely have any time to ourselves, but we actually enjoy sharing ourselves with our audience. That's why we do it.
So when someone asks me if I've come to my senses and changed my major yet? I just smile and wave.
