The Tip Of The Iceberg

The Tip Of The Iceberg

Living to be more than the 10% people see.
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People are like icebergs.

People are indeed like icebergs not just because a part of them is hidden but more so of just how much of them is hidden.

When you look at icebergs (or in my case at least pictures of them) you only see 10% because the ice has 90% of the water’s density. Beneath the surface, there's a buttload of ice chilling and undiscovered.

Think about how that applies to us, humans.

Let’s be upfront with the fact that not everyone shows their full 100% self to others. I know for a fact I don’t. I don’t show my full 100 because that means not only am I showing who I am during the times I feel the most pretty and strong but when I am feeling ugly and vulnerable.

I didn’t typically share those moments because that is not how I wanted to portray myself. I didn’t want people to see someone who is painfully shy and insecure. Even in college, I didn't want people to see a girl who sometimes wished she could just hop in the car and drive home when life got tough.

I didn't want people to see the girl I felt like I was.

At least before I started writing, I didn’t. Before I started writing and revealing different pieces of who I am, I wanted to be perfect. I still do. I want to be well-liked, to make little mistakes, and to feel flawless. The more I write the more I start to reveal myself and the less scared I am to do it in person.

I know I am not alone when it comes to displaying the very best side of myself. Come on, don’t we all? I mean look at social media posts like on Instagram.

The typical photo supposed to show off our best side whether that be a nice thing we did for someone or how hot we look on the beach. Either way like to show people that our lives are #GOALS worthy. We filter, we tweak, and we retake pictures to give off an air of perfection.

Personally, I know people from back home who felt like their freshman year was hard and it was a rough time for them. Until I asked, I would have never been able to tell.

Now, you don't have to post how miserable you are if life sucks at the moment. If anything maybe staying off social media could help unless you need to reach out to someone then do it to get help.

I can't help but think that seeing people live the "perfect" life does more damage than good to someone struggling. When I'm having a bad day I stay far away from social media because it only makes me feel like I'm doing things wrong thus worsening my day.

Part of what I am trying to get across is don't assume that just because someone's Instagram is aesthetic or their pics are bomb AF that they don't have struggles. That's not really fair to them because you're assuming they don't have their own problems. And for the sake of being real, we all have our own things we carry with us. That's okay, it makes you human.

If you don't have a single care in the world then keep on keepin' on, girl.

The other point I want to get across is to make sure you're taking time to get to know those people around you. Whether it be a classmate, a sorority sister, or someone you volunteer with. Put in some work. I challenge you to engage in more self-disclosure and less selfie exposure.

Self-disclosure is when we open up to each other about ourselves, share information and slowly get to know each other for who we really are. Thus building relationships on a foundation of trust. We get relationships that can last because it's more than just a shallow "Hey, how are ya" in passing or likes and "yas queens" on photos.

When we engage in self-disclosure we begin to push the rest of our iceberg out of the water.

Cover Image Credit: Becca Steele

Popular Right Now

16 Things You Know To Be True If Your Name Is Emily

*Immediately sends to five other friends named Emily*
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Emily. The name of legends, great poets and just overall fabulous people. Emily has been ranked among one of the most popular girl's names for literally decades, so it's no secret that people named Emily definitely have a few things to bond over.

1. You have very specific preferences on being called Em, Emmy or Emmers.

And most likely only ~sOmE~ people are given this privilege.

2. Every time you meet someone named Emily you instantly bond.

OMG, our parents were some of the most unoriginal people ever! Besties!

3. But secretly, you like to think of yourself as the better Emily.

Sorry not sorry.

4. Your middle name is probably Ann, Elizabeth or Marie.

Because your name is as basic as it gets.

5. You take great pride in knowing that you were the inspiration for names like Emma, Emmy and Emmaline.

And maybe you're a little jealous that your parents didn't at least try to do something a little more unique.

6. Whether it's work or school you always have to share your name with someone.

So you're probably used to attaching the first letter of your last name or broin' out and using your last name like some sort of athlete.

7. On the flip side, you were ~aLwAyS~ able to find your name on keychains growing up.


8. And unless your barista is feeling extra grouchy, it's impossible to get your name wrong on your Starbucks cup.

Unless you're one of those Emily's that spells it like Emmaleigh... *judging you*

9. Because at least you have a name no one has to ask how to spell.

Unless, well, see above.

10. You have spent hours perfecting the ideal "E" for your signature.

Do you make a backwards "3" or do you do a loopy lowercase "e?" The choice is yours.

11. And you definitely went through a phase where you dotted the "i" in hearts.

Because you just wanted to go for that extra ~GiRlY~ effect.

12. Your friends know better than to call your name in a public place.

Unless they want at least three people turning around.

13. Someone has texted you thinking they're talking to a different Emily.

Nope, nope. I'm this Emily.

14. You can appreciate that when you write the word Emily it's perfectly even on both sides.

15. And contains the perfect amount of loops.

16. Because while it might be super common, it's popular for a reason

Cover Image Credit: M Star News

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Women, Stop Apologizing When You've Done Nothing Wrong, You're Only Acting Human

Saying you're sorry too much can affect how you see yourself and your actions.

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Throughout the journey of life, there are behaviors that we pick up due to social norms. We may not realize that we unconsciously do this behavior until we become older or more self-aware. One of the behaviors that I think is so predominant is the action of women making themselves small for others or apologizing so much in situations where it is not necessary. I myself apologize for things at least 10 times a day, whether it is when someone bumps into me or when I'm not confident in my opinion.

I have learned to stop doing it when guys ask me out, and I now say "thanks for asking" or a phrase that gives rather than receives such as "thank you for giving me the time." I consciously avoid saying sorry. It's not the biggest issue, but it is something to be aware of and it affects how others view you. It can make you feel invalidated in that situation or delay what you really mean.

I've had conversations with all different types of women that have insight on how this behavior affects them. They all agree that it's still a battle for them to stop apologizing and that it stems from not being confident enough or trying too hard to not hurt other people's feelings. Some claimed they would even apologize when they didn't want to do something or were feeling ill, but their health should be a priority over the desires of other people. Being submissive can feel easier because there are no immediate consequences. If women are tough or stand up for something they can come across as harsh, so we use "sorry" to cushion the blow and make our words a little less abrasive. However, when men are assertive, they are respected and taken seriously.

When women apologize too much, they start making themselves and their actions small. And as complex, hardworking women, they shouldn't be sorry about things they can't control. I don't think women realize it much until they become self-reflective or someone else points it out.

One woman I talked to said, "I never realized how apologetic I was until I had someone point out to me saying, 'You apologize a lot for being human.'"

It can make it harder for you to grow as a woman if you're worried about other people constantly. It can hinder your confidence because you're always thinking you're in the wrong.

Realizing that not everything requires an apology is the first step to amending this behavior. It's something that most women have grown to use constantly growing up. I think it stems even from childhood when girls are more open to their insecurities. Instead, we can re-word what we say to take it from apologizing to gratitude. You can say "thank you for giving you your time" or "I appreciate this conversation, it can help our relationship."

This creates a healthy way of expressing emotions without belittling yourself and makes a way for a logical discussion of what you want and deserve. If you are conscious in your choices and living authentically, then there is no need to apologize.

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