While sitting in class the other day, during our usual halftime break from the 80-minute lecture, our teacher entered the room with a look of bewilderment sprawled across his face. As he examined each person in the class, there was a common theme. That theme was a smartphone gripped tightly in each person's hand, a lifeline of sorts, as each texted or swiped furiously. "I think every single person is on their phone right now," he commented jokingly. But it was no joke, and for his generation (and that of my parents'), this form of communication or lack thereof is baffling.
What happened to turning to your neighbor and having a conversation face-to-face? It is a sad reality that I hardly know anyone in my classes, especially at a school as small as Hope College. Whenever an opportunity arises to break from class and potentially become acquainted with classmates, there is an instantaneous response to become engrossed with our phones. I am as guilty of this as anyone, but it is time that we face the startling reality that this behavior is detrimental to our relationships.
Cell phones nowadays offer so much more than calling or texting. They have become high-powered processors that allow access to thousands of applications at the click of a button. As convenient as this is, it is also extremely addictive. Our generation has become so accustomed to instant gratification that we have become engrossed with being informed of every update. I know I am not the only one who scrolls back through my Twitter feed to the place where I had left off to make sure I did not miss anything "substantial." When I analyze this from the perspective of a non-millennial, it comes across as ridiculous. If I am honest with myself, it is also not a healthy habit.
Social media is a great platform for people to show the positive side of their lives -- modeling portfolios, vacation shots, acceptances, or awards. Not to take anything away from people who share these sorts of posts, but this is not reality. Sometimes, we get so absorbed in social media that we forget this fundamental fact, and it can cause negative side effects. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression, social media can make you feel as if you are missing out on so much in life. Newsflash: you are perfect the way you are, and please, please get off social media to gain a more realistic perspective on life. I have done it, and it is so refreshing and liberating to not worry about superficial profiles or posts.
So, you may ask, what is so damaging about an innocent Facebook or Twitter page? There is nothing wrong with social media in itself, but when combined with overuse and obsession, it becomes a detriment to normal relationships. Instead of going out to eat with friends and talking, it becomes going out to eat with friends and texting. Perhaps the area in which I have been the most disappointed is in social engagement with the opposite sex. It is not necessarily the case that people are on their phones as it is that they just do not know how to engage. Social skills seem to have gone by the wayside, and I blame it on our generation's infatuation with technology.
Back when my parents were younger, young men had to call the home phone of the girl in which they had interest in order to ask her on a date. Yes, it was mortifying to have to talk to the young lady's father before reaching her, but it made it that more rewarding when she said yes.
Nowadays, people can hide behind their phones and often have no idea how to act when they actually encounter the person in real life. It is easy to be brave or flirtatious behind the protection of a smartphone, but does that translate in an authentic interaction? Oftentimes, no. At a recent Greek life event, I watched the majority of the boys stand behind the DJ booth (because it makes perfect sense that it takes ten frat guys to choose a song) while our sorority danced and interacted with each other. There is nothing quite like feeling like you are some sort of zoo exhibit as the boys sneak glances at you but make no effort to communicate. Actually, it is flat-out frustrating. I am a woman who appreciates a gentleman and chivalry, and technology seems to have destroyed any last remnants of it. I know there are exceptions to this, but they are like looking for a needle in a haystack of disappointment.
There is a part of me that wants to be optimistic and believe this captivation with social media will blow over and open the door for genuine interaction once more. Yet, I am also a realist and recognize that technology will only continue to develop. With that in mind, I have a couple of recommendations to remain grounded in reality. First, take a risk in-person. No one was ever blown away (in a good way, at least) by a Tinder pick-up line. Lastly, and most importantly, savor moments with family and friends without technological distractions. After all, the best memories are developed in the presence of people, not created over the Internet.
