“This didn't work out but I’d still like us to be friends!” If only it were that easy. One of the most classic scenarios, trying not to burn a bridge with someone that was actually a decent human being. Both of you devoted so much time and energy to each other and you feel you owe it to one another to stay friends. That’s the real “F word” our parents should have warned us about. Here’s why it is so hard to stay friends with someone you were once romantic with. You are trying to change the way you see that person. In a way, you are trying to rewire your mind! You tell yourself that you can no longer think about this person and get butterflies. You can no longer talk to this person the way you talked before. You are trying to switch to a polar opposite relationship! Of course, many of you out there are saying, “That’s not true! My ex and I still talk!” Well, I guarantee it isn't at the level that it was before. At the end of the day, I’d like to think we could talk to each other like nothing is wrong. It would be so easy to try and act like the past doesn't matter… but how unrealistic is that? How are we supposed to ignore the past? In an instance, we are supposed to move on and forget everything that was said to one another. And of course there is always the guessing game and so many questions come into play, “How often should we talk now?”, “Is it even worth it to talk?”, “Does that person even want to talk or are they just being nice?” A pretty good rule of thumb is if these questions come into play, being friends probably isn't going to happen. It’s true that time heals all wounds, but just because we have moved on doesn't make “being friends” an easy task. We still get glimpses of what we used to have with that person. Many times it seems easier to just cut that person out of your life altogether. Believe me, I know this all sounds so pessimistic. What’s crazy is that I am the type of person who likes seeing the glass half full. However, sometimes you really need to look at a situation and say, “This isn't going to work.” We realize that we have tried to keep that person in our life with our hopes high that things won’t be awkward. But more often than not, it just is. We just can’t forget the past, and in my opinion, that is a good thing. If we forget everything we learn from being with someone how are we supposed to grow? There comes a point where you finally look back and realize moving on is for the better. A relationship is a door that swings both ways, and if the other person isn’t as concerned with staying in touch as you are, then move on. Move on and find someone who goes out of their way to tell you how much you mean to them. When you look back at what you had before, it sure does make it hard to be friends. So for those of you out there who tell someone you want to stay "friends", be 100% sure you mean it.

P.S

For those of you going through a breakup, just listen to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker"... works like a charm