To The Person I Loved And Lost

To The Person I Loved And Lost

“You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” -John Green

the.mclachans/ Instagram

We met in the sixth grade when you moved to town and I thought you were the cutest thing I had ever seen. I was taken away by your bright blue eyes and curly hair and ever since then, you and I were connected at the hip.

We hit a rough patch in our friendship in seventh grade when we got into an argument so explosive, I said a few things that I regret and cried myself to sleep that night; however, despite all of that, you tried to talk to me the next day, but I couldn’t talk to you. My pride and ego were far too big for you to get the satisfaction of “winning” and I couldn’t shake the fact that I may have been in the wrong, but that hasn’t been proven, so it still stands that we were both wrong.

In the eighth grade, I changed. My confidence boosted so much and I felt that I could do anything and get anybody that I wanted; turns out that I got you. You and I started to talk and for the next two and a half years, you were a big part of my life.

I remember hugging you and feeling that you were squeezing away all of my problems in the world. I remember holding your hand in the hall and loving how complete I felt. I remember when and the way you said, “I love you” for the first time. I remember all of these things and I think that is the reason why I’m so afraid to love someone now.

I haven’t really talked to many guys since you and I went our separate ways, but you have moved on from girl to girl no problem, but isn’t that how the story goes? Girl and guy end things and one of them is left to pick up the pieces while the other moves on. Clichés are the worst and we just had to be a cliché.

You don’t know how many times I have wanted to text you to see how you were doing or just to talk about anything really because you were really good at listening to me rant about random things, like what celebrity is dating who or how my teacher didn’t teach a lesson well enough. Even if I was restless and couldn’t sleep, you stayed up with me until I fell asleep and I woke up to a paragraph about how you felt about me; those made my morning and I couldn’t wait to get to school to see you.

We didn’t end on bad terms, but why did we stop talking for so long? We were best friends before anything, but that’s gone now. Do you still think of what we had or is that just another foggy memory you try to keep pushed back? Do you remember the night we saw each other again? I do and I almost had a heart attack because I genuinely missed having you around me and it’s taken me so long to get over the thought of you, but the truth is I’m not completely over you and I don’t think that I ever will be, but that’s okay.

I’ve realized that it’s okay to love the people who left you and it’s okay to forgive them for leaving; no matter how they left. I will always think about you and think about what could have been, but I won’t let that ruin me or my relationships in the future because you haven’t let it ruin your relationships with others.

For a long time, I thought that you would come back and we would pick up right where we left off, but now that I think of it…I’m good. I’m not great, but I’m good and I’m making it work. Two years later and I’m still into you and hopefully in another two years, I will be completely at peace with us and whatever we had. In the end, no matter who we’re with or where we are, I will still love you even if you don’t love me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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