I sit here writing this two days after her death. Over the past two days, I have tried everything I could to keep it together and be strong about it, but deep down I'm heart broken.

She was my first fur baby that I ever loved so much. I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her. I was seven years old. She was just a tiny little kitten in a box, and she had just been born. She was perfect, and I gave her the perfect name. I wanted to take her home with me, but my dad wouldn't let me because we already had enough animals. Every day after school, I would run up to my grandparents' house to see her. None of her other brothers and sisters got as much attention as she did. She was my favorite.

One day, as I was sitting on my front porch with my daddy, I saw her. And Bruno. Bruno was my papa's mean dog that always caused problems. He was chasing after her, and I begged my daddy to let me go get her. He finally gave in. I took off running to the rescue. I grabbed her up in my arms, and at that moment, she officially became a part of the family. I never knew how much of a big impact she would leave on all of our hearts, though.

My dad told me that she would remain an outside cat. However, whenever he'd be gone on a trip, I would sneak her in the house to play. Then, one day my dad caught me with her in the house. Eventually, she became a house cat.

We played together every day. We would take naps, and cuddle. She grew right along side me. We became best friends. She would know when I needed her, and she would always be there. She was my child. She was family. I would celebrate her birthday, and make cupcakes for her. She loved cupcakes. I would get her gifts for Christmas, and Santa would too. Everyone loved her, even people that weren't really cat people. Eventually, my daddy grew to love her too. Although, he never would admit it. I would catch him letting her sit in his lap, and him rocking her like a baby. She was so loved.

I never went a day without loving on her, until I had to move away to college. I couldn't have her with me in the dorms, so I had to leave her behind. That was so hard on me. She knew something was wrong when I was packing my things. It broke my heart. Eventually, I moved into an apartment, and couldn't have her there either. By the time I moved into my house, she knew home to be where she was. I couldn't uproot her from her home, so with a heavy heart I made the decision to leave her there where she was happy. Even if that meant I couldn't see her as often.

A few years later, her age started taking its toll on her. She started growing thinner and thinner, weaker and weaker. I saw these changes and knew that it wouldn't be long that I would have to say goodbye to her. However, those thoughts didn't prepare me for the pain that I feel now that she's gone.

I awoke to a phone call from my dad telling me that she had died that morning. That situation felt all too familiar. It reminded me of the morning that my Papa had passed. I couldn't come to terms with it. And I didn't want to go home to find her that way. I remembered how much it hurt me to see my papa that way.

Hesitantly I headed out for that drive home. It hadn't hit me until I walked in to see her little feeble body lying in that box. My heart broke. It shattered. Into more pieces than a million. She was my baby. She was my lifelong best friend. Now, she's gone. She'll no longer meow back every single time I said something to her. She'll no longer beg me for food at the table because her Papaw spoiled her. She'll no longer play tag with me. She'll no longer be waiting in front of the door when I come home. I'll no longer get to open presents by the tree on Christmas morning with her. She exists now, only in my heart.

Losing your lifelong best friend and companion is a pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It really truly feels like a piece of me is missing. I don't know if I'll ever heal from this pain. She was my best friend for 16 years, and now she's gone. If only my love for her could've kept her alive.

I love and miss you, Minnie. You will always be my first child.