We knew this day would come. From the moment we started this song and dance we knew a day would come where we could say "goodbye" instead of "see you later". We knew. We knew exactly when that day would be. We prepared ourselves as much as we could; I prepared myself as much as I could. But it didn't soften the hurt at all.
In the early days of this semester, we hit it off. It was an instant connection. The more we talked, the more it just made sense between you and me. However, we knew that this absolutely could not work out long term, for several reasons, so "just friends" is what we went with. We were fooling ourselves from the very beginning. But that was fine. Being just friends who told each other every little thing was enough, until one day it just wasn't.
One day we went out on our first "official" date. And it was magical. It was perfect. It was a cute little dinner place with string lights and a vintage vibe. We drove around for hours afterward, talking about any and everything. Holding hands and laughing. Enjoying each other's presence. We went back to your house and watched a movie. You asked to kiss me, but I knew that this just wasn't the time for that, and you understood. You just pulled me closer, and I've never felt more at home.
Then there was a second date. And then a third. But before there could be more, time ran out and the day we had stored in the back of our heads finally came. We'd been doing this whole dance for months, but the time we were actually together wanes in comparison. Long distance just didn't make sense. We both agreed. So we made the most of our last night together.
We talked. We sat on your bed with movie after movie playing in the background, and we stayed up talking. We talked about our hopes and dreams. For ourselves. For each other. We talked about our fears and insecurities. We talked about embarrassing childhood moments and our proudest accomplishments. We laid it all out that night. We spent the entire night reliving our lives, and I couldn't imagine anything else. We woke up the next morning; my head was on your chest and your hands around my waist. You held me, and I held you. Neither of us wanted to let go of what we had.
The time came for me to go back home, away from you. I didn't want to go. You didn't want me to leave. You followed me out to my car, and just as I thought that was going to be it, you pulled me in so close, so tight. You told me that the next time I pursued a relationship it had to be with a good person. It had to be someone who treated me well and respected everything about me. I didn't think you knew how much I wanted that person to be you, but the next second you told me you wanted the same thing. Then I got in my car, you shut my door, and you watched me drive away. I watched you get smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror. And I hurt.
You know, you checked all my boxes. You were (you are) so kind. So caring. So respectful. Our values match, and we complement each other perfectly. You called me weird and crazy 24/7, but you also called me beautiful when I was in sweatpants with no makeup on. Everything was perfect. The situation just wasn't going to work out long distance. But that's okay. I'll be okay. You gave me a lifetime of memories in such a short period of time.
We both saw this day coming. It doesn't make it hurt any less. You are the best person I've ever met in my life. I'm certain I'll look for a little bit of you in everyone else I ever meet. I'm certain you're the one that got away.
