To The Next Chapter In My Life,
First off, hi. I can't wait to meet you. I know you're mysterious and distant but I really am excited. I have my expectations, and I really do think this change is going to be for the best.
I also want to say I am filled with self-doubt, because of you. I constantly find myself asking a million questions.
"Is this really what I want?"
"What if I'm not going to be enough?"
"What exactly is going to change?"
I don't know what is going to happen with you. Will I find the love of my life? Will I lose a loved one? Will I go into debt? Will I win the lottery? Will you be the best choice I make? Only time will tell.
Meeting you is like walking blindly. There is no way to tell what's ahead. While I hate feeling like I'm about to commit to the biggest mistake of my life, I just have to trust that you're going to be bigger and better than the former. Even though the question "what if it isn't bigger and better?" still lingers in the back of my mind I'm not changing my mind on this.
You make me so insanely nervous. Remember the first time you had a crush and your stomach filled up with butterflies? That's how I feel all the time when I think of you.
I also fear you. I am so afraid that you're going to knock me down or put me through the ringer. I am so afraid of you, it makes me sick. What if I'm not good enough to survive you?
However, if you're great: that's wonderful. I will certainly be happy and eager to encourage others to come find you. I will be proud of you and hold you dear to my heart.
If you're awful: that's great, too. You'll teach me what I need to know. Your timing may not be perfect, but you'll prepare me for the one whose timing is. I will only be able to look back at you with fondness and thank you for all that you will have taught me.
I'm scared of you, but I'm even more afraid of not meeting you.
I was once told, "we only regret the chances we didn't take," and that is driving me to pursue you. I would hate to turn you down or miss out on you, and be stuck wondering "what if?"
You're my future and I'm ready for you. Self-doubt and all, I'm coming for you.
Sincerely,
An extremely nervous and excited individual.
