To The Man Who Healed My Heart
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To The Man Who Healed My Heart

you are the love that came without warning, and you had my heart before I could say no

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To quote Eliza from Hamilton "you walked in and my heart went boom", I will never forget the first time I worked with you. I was exhausted, and still trying to get over being sick from not sleeping enough. And your first words to me were "you're sick why are you here? Go home", the stubborn side of me made me stay, because even exhausted I wanted to stay and get to know you. I say it all the time, but you really caught my attention when you knew I was wearing Harry Styles merch. I knew from that minute and your smile that I was hooked. Finding out we lived in the same building was a bonus, and I knew you took advantage of it, asking me to come let you in when you "didn't have your card".

Fast forward a week later, my friends were in town, and I was too drunk to think straight, and you are the first guy outside of my smaller circle to see me so drunk that I will sit on the floor at any point in time. I came downstairs and let you in AGAIN, and both my friends could only say how tall you were. You just laughed, and I can't imagine what you were thinking at that point. Just a drunk girl letting in the guy she likes wearing the same Harry Styles sweatshirt and pajama pants. Drunk me thought ahead though, and I did get your Snapchat that night, she's smart sometimes. After that, we talked nonstop, and you started coming over after I finished dance practice, and we binged season three of Stranger Things. I was just telling Kayla the other day how we started off sitting away from one another, and the more you came over I ended up snuggled into your side on my couch. It was probably one of my favorite moments of us so far, discussing Stranger Things, and horror movies.

Our first date was laid back, and I discovered how good of a cook you were (another bonus on top of how amazing you are), we began watching Haunting of Hill House (which we still need to finish cause I wanna watch it with you) and just laying in your bed talking. I was giving myself a pep talk in my head, "c'mon Em just kiss him already", and I finally did. I screamed internally when you kissed me back. Since then, kissing you is one of my favorite things.

You came to dance showcase, I didn't even ask you, you just asked me what days they were, and which one you were coming to. I'd never had that before, and we weren't even dating yet, Gwen practically squealed when I told her you were there, and how much I liked you already. I loved knowing you were in the crowd, I actually get really nervous when I dance, and it's comforting to know I had you there. After showcase, you were a good sport taking pictures with me, and then taking Abby and I to the Weyanoke (and putting up with the commentary about kissing you goodbye), I loved the flowers you got me, even if they did have to live in my Starbucks cup because I didn't have a vase.

For our "official" first date, we went to see Frozen 2, and honestly, best time ever in the movie theater, I loved knowing you shared my love for Disney movies, and that we both agreed that Kristoff's song was like a Backstreet Boys music video. Winter break was coming soon, and it made me really sad that I wouldn't get to see you for a month. But you made my break when you asked me to officially be your girlfriend the day before I went home. At five in the morning when both of us should have been asleep.

Another one of my favorite moments of us, was when I saw you for the first time during the break when we went to Christmas Towne with my friends. Catching you off guard and jumping on you for a hug was the best, and bonus for us making the people on the tram go "aww". Christmas Towne is still my favorite memories with you, just having a good time with my friends, and taking so many photos. New Years was even better, when I came down and met your Mom and friends from home for the first time, I was really nervous, but everything went great. For the first time in three years, I was enjoying being with someone for New Years.

We came back to school and fell into a routine (that was soon to be disrupted by the damn Coronavirus), of seeing one another between classes in Upchurch, cuddling on my couch watching Netflix, making dinner at 2:00 am, and bringing each other coffee for each other and Hope during the late-night shifts at the library.

Valentine's Day came, and I was really excited to give you your presents, and enjoy a night out with you. But as a bonus, you stayed the night before, and you were really nervous to tell me something. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, and I had a feeling I knew what you were going to say. When you said "I love you", and then quickly started saying it was okay if I didn't say it back because you knew my trauma with those words from my last relationship. It was the sweetest thing ever, but I'd been wanting to tell you that for a month but didn't want to make anything weird of awkward. I tell you it every day now, and I will never get tired of saying it.

You walked into my life, and my heart like you already belonged there, you are the love that came without warning, you've helped me heal, and learn to trust someone with my heart and feelings again. I never thought I would have a relationship like ours, where we're lovers and best friends all at the same time. Something just tells me I'm going to love you forever, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

I love you

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