I wear many hats in my job.

That is what we in student affairs call our ability to juggle many aspects of one position. For example, on a normal day, I am in my office at 9am and before 5pm I will have acted as a conduct officer, met with students who are going through roommate conflicts, made a Desk Assistant Schedule, followed up on incident reports from the previous night, eaten lunch at my desk or walking to one of three meetings, had one on one conversations with any of my eleven Resident Assistants and planned the month’s programs.

These are all before I go to class and the gym.

You may be asking how I function after the first week of school, and there are two ways that I cope.

1. A heavy coffee addiction
2. A passion for helping students that supersedes anything else in my life.

I don’t have children or a steady partner because I already have 22 students and a supervisor that I am fully committed to. They come first for me, and they always will.

But beyond the scope of my job description, I have also worn many other hats in my work in student affairs.

I have been a plumber when maintenance was overloaded with other issues and a student was worried about their room flooding. I watched a Youtube video to learn how to unclog a toilet and snake a drain to avoid further damage.

I have also been a custodian when my lobby was covered in vomit and there was no one else to mop up the mess.

I have been a carnival worker, painting faces at a program so that my students’ families are entertained. Learning to operate popcorn and cotton candy in a way that would guarantee me lifelong employment with Ringling Bros.

I have been an artist, making banners and door decorations so that people feel at home in my building and I have built a community around that emotion.

I have been a construction worker, breaking ground on new buildings and learning all I can about campus projects so that someday I may be able to help plan them.

I have been a donor, buying clothes and food and necessities for students who otherwise would have gone without.

I have been a graphic designer, trying to make the handouts and agendas that I give my staff more aesthetically pleasing.

I have been an entertainer, starting dance parties and karaoke nights so that other students don’t have to feel weird expressing themselves.

I have been a barista, coming in early some days to buy or make coffee when my staff or colleagues needed a pick me up. Coincidentally, I also make the greatest caramel mocha cappuccino you have ever tasted.

I have been a counselor for both grief and relationship advice on some of the hardest days of my students' lives. I have offered advice for vocational choices, and delivered bad news, and been a shoulder to cry on. I have held the hands of assault victims and brought them back from the edge.

I have been a witness to some of the most horrible things that a person can go through and had to write a report and testify about what I have seen.

I have been an EMT, patching up small wounds and holding heads steady until paramedics arrive on scene to take over. I have also been the one to hold towels over bleeding wrists and search through trash cans for empty pill bottles.

I have been a first responder, learning the sounds and smells and warning signs of tragedy and reporting it to people who can help.

I have been a cheerleader when my students are competing or performing so that even if no one else is supporting them, they always have a number one fan.

I have been a student in learning all that I can from my Resident Assistants about their culture and their beliefs and even the things that they read about in class. I have lead office-wide discussions on current events and real-life issues that are affecting my staff.

I am a chameleon in this field. I have adapted and learned so that my students and I will have the most successful year possible. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty in an effort to make things better for others.

I love my students and I am passionate about my job. And because I am not afraid to take on new tasks, I never leave my office at 5pm.

I change headpieces at least ten times a day.

So if that means I should break out the tea and wish you a “Very Merry Un-Birthday,” then bring on the hats, because Student Affairs is my Wonderland.