It's funny, after your first year as an art student at a University, there is this new, unspoken sense of pride in every piece of art that you produce. No matter how big or how small, even making a simple name tag, turns into a challenge to prove yourself. Not to long ago, myself and some other art students from Judson were at a music festival in Milwaukee, and we decided to stop at a booth that was focused on kids and had some art projects set up for whoever wanted to stop and mess around.
It's not like it really mattered how any of our pieces turned out. Yet, I looked around the table and everyone had a serious look on their face and we all catch each-other pausing and glancing over at other's work. Its this fear that anything you do from this point on has to be perfect or you are a failure. Its almost as if we care less in our classes surrounded with our fellow class mates, all accepting the fact that our art will never look like the examples our professors showed us. There at least we all shared in the same fear that our art would never be good enough or that we don't have what it takes.
At times, I felt like I was set for life, but other times I felt like I would never find my way, that I would "never find my art". Most projects would include countless hours of trying so hard, and the outcome would either be great or great till you saw the rest of the class. Than the weekend was spent trying to forget about it all with good friends, until the next day you had to do it all again. In art school there is no time for life, a continual grind to get things done. In a sense I miss it all, I miss being with people that feel the same way, and trying to carve out my own personal style. I miss the late nights trying to get things done, not thinking that I could ever complete any of the projects but finishing them all none the less. Studios full of laughter and music, nights of progress and nights of well, not progress. Feeling professional and feeling like you are finally getting taught all the things your high school art teacher should have taught you. Teachers that care about you and push you. For once feeling that people actually like you. To being the favorite of some of my professors so much so that others told me that. Having a shop teacher that I could bond with over punk music. All in all I am an art student, with all the insecurities and tests that come with. But, I still think like an art student and have passion that doesn't allow me to quit.
