Have you ever had your heart broken? By the time you're in college, it's more than likely you've gone through this immensely painful experience at least once. I myself went through my first breakup this past summer, and I can't overstate the effects that had on my mind. Heartbreak can be an all-too-common experience for some, and you may find that what to some people may be an unavoidable part of a relationship is actually something that can end up benefiting all parties involved.
What was it that went wrong in the relationship?
Before you can even begin to come to terms with a rough breakup, you need to think back on what it was that caused the relationship to fall apart. Of course, there are times when you simply start to grow apart, which is understandable and usually mutual between both members, but in my personal experience, this was not the case. For me and many others, the exact reason for the split seems unprecedented, and it's not uncommon to seek out answers about what went wrong and why the other half of the relationship was unwilling to fix it.
Unfortunately, it is somewhat rare that we receive real answers to these questions, especially when your newfound ex has a decent chance of becoming agitated about the topic to the point that they will eventually cut off all contact without giving any closure to your breakup. It is in times such as these that those of us left in this position are better off searching deep within ourselves because while you can never truly understand the other person's point of view in severing a relationship, it should be easy to picture your own inner demons and insecurities that might have caused you to act wrongly at some point in time. Whether the break was "your fault" or not, there's little chance that you didn't slip up somewhere in a way that unknowingly set the path in motion, and it's important to come to terms with this before moving forward.
Take advantage of what you went through and learn from your mistakes!
This can apply to many different aspects of life, but romantic relationships are one of the strongest bonds you may create in your lifetime, so it's crucial to your future that you understand what you did wrong in them just as much as the things you did right. Don't let yourself place all the blame on the other person to the point where you antagonize them, especially if they wish to keep being friends. At the same time, you can't blame every little thing on yourself either because you will never stop thinking about it even after you've torn yourself apart. Step back. Take a breather. No one here is without fault, and nothing is done without reason, even if you can't determine what that reason is.
Instead of dwelling on it and killing your own mind and any kind of friendship with your new ex, shift your focus to all the good times that were shared between you and make a note of what you learned from the experience. If you recall a mistake you made, make a point of avoiding the same action with any partners you meet in the future. When something went well, you should definitely consider continuing that behavior. Turn this low moment of your life into one of the highest by realizing the value it offered you for your future relationships!
Stay vigilant and patient as you watch for new potential relationships!
Believe it or not, you will eventually get back on your feet. When the right time comes, the right person will enter your life and when they do, it will be completely up to you whether you choose to act on it or not. Whenever your next relationship comes (and one day sooner or later it will come), you need to be ready and willing to change for the better. With your rough experience, you now have a better idea of what you do and don't want out of your relationships. All you have to do now is keep an eye out for someone who wants the same things out of you.
