In my opinion, there truly are few things that are as horrendous as...wait for it...a slow walker.

I know that there are some of you readers who felt a little flash of bitterness towards the last slow walker you encountered upon reading that first sentence. You could have even been personally victimized by a slow walker today while you were walking home from class before starting to read this article. If that is the case, I empathize with you.

I find it hard to believe that I am the only one who gets incredibly bothered when I find myself stuck behind a slowpoke. There are also some of you, though, who might be thinking, “Really? This is what your article is about, Carly?” and I proudly (and hypothetically) respond with, “Yes. Maybe I am of the unpopular opinion on this issue, but I feel it is necessary to talk about.”

There are handfuls of issues to be dealt with in our society, big and small, and this is arguably the biggest. (If you can’t feel the sarcasm that I felt while typing that, please be aware of it now.) Maybe you are the slow walker who needs to pick it up a little bit and have been in need of this very article! Just kidding… kind of.

Whether it is on my way to class, while I’m walking around Target, or headed into work at my on-campus job, I can be very easily irked by the carelessness of a slow walker. Especially the ones that see no issue in taking up the entire sidewalk/aisle/path. I understand if you have no obligations or places to be in a timely manner, but ya girl does. So, please, scoot yourself over so I can efficiently pass you by before the walker headed in our direction gets too close for me to do so.

In all honesty, I envy you if you are the no-obligations-or-timely-responsibilities walker. Please enjoy the freedom to walk as fast or as slow as you like. But, as soon as you inhibit my ability to rush to the obligation that I am probably late for, we are going to have issues.

I personally think of walking much like I do driving. The slowest of walkers should be in the far right “lane”, allowing plenty of room for the faster of walkers, like myself, to make a speedy pass. It is that simple. And please, PLEASE do not start miraculously walking faster while I am mid-pass thus forcing us to awkwardly be walking next to each other. I just do not need that brief moment of awkwardness in my life.

So, do all of us fast-walking-probably-late-and-rushing people a big ole favor and walk your slow walk in your lane so we no longer have to feel the strange twinge of anger felt when stuck behind an oblivious slowpoke while on our way to important places...like home to my apartment to take a nap and watch The Office, for example. Thank you.