Hey gal, if you are reading this I will go ahead and assume that you or a friend of yours didn't wait. And if you are reading this and do not understand the title, let me explain. I am speaking of when a girl doesn't "wait" for her future husband, doesn't hold herself to a standard of purity that the Lord designed for her, doesn't wait before giving her body and heart away to a boy dressed as a man that did not regard it as the jewel it was. Not being pure in heart and body does not necessarily mean you had sex with every man that walked by, but it definitely can. Purity is what Christ regards as free from adultery, impurity, or contamination. The internet describes it as

pu·ri·ty
1.freedom from adulteration or contamination.
2.freedom from immorality, especially of a sexual nature.

Moving away from definitions, not waiting for your husband is a crappy way to put it in my eyes. It was not that I did not want to wait, it was that I did not know who I was waiting for. I thought that boy was my future husband. He liked me, said he loved me and I did not know much more than that was needed for marriage. How was I to know that just because he said he loved me did not mean that all of the abuse behaviors, degrading words and loss of the Lord's guidance in my life meant otherwise? Could it be because God did not say to wait for your husband, he said to remain pure in heart, only having intimacy with one man (if you are a woman) or one woman (if you are a man) and that one person being your covenant partner? That sounds much more enticing if you ask me. Maybe if the silver ring movement would stop telling girls and guys that they are to wait for their spouse to have sex and begin telling them that they should abstain from intimacy until they are married because it will be far greater in its natural form compared to broken hearts, exposed insecurities, heart wounds that we put band-aids on and young people losing the sweetness of God's creation because of junior high curiosity.

Sweet girl, if you are like me, you did not wait and wish you had. If you are like me, you did not even understand your worth, let alone understand your purpose. If you are like me, you have settled for less than respect in relationships and carry the heart wounds in a place unseen by others. If you are like me, you have wondered if there were a start over button so that you could get back your time, secrets and life from that boy who did not deserve it to begin with. If you are like me, you heard the lie that told you all of the ways that you could not get back your innocence from this world and because of it, you have nothing to offer that future husband of yours.

Gal, if you are like me, you know that the world is an unforgiving place and it will never give you back what you have given away...you also need to know that God is a forgiving Savior who nailed his Son to the cross that you might be given a second chance..and third..and fourth. You need to know that the enemy was right, you cannot get back the innocence and purity that you lost, but in his lies he left out one main part of the story; you can be given NEW purity, life and holiness that you did not have access to before believing in Christ. If you are like me, you must stop walking around believing lies and believe your Father who loves you, no matter how dirty you think that you are. The list of boys, the ones kissed and the ones who were kissed twice. The movies that left you wanting romance only to realize that you felt abused and awkward in real life, not respected. The times that you tried to fight for your right to say no only to find it easier to say yes. All of those things only matter to the Lord because it is his living testimony in you of what He is capable of washing clean and making white. God desires to use your story to change the lives of the other girls like you who did not know that they were a bride to Christ and will be given away to a man as a pure bride to their husband, but not to condemn you!

You dear one are so free of those relationships and do not have to believe the lie that you cannot be worth what a pure girl is. If you are like me, let your heart and soul trust in the Lord who sets you free and let go of the chains, oh child of God. Let them go and realize that there are so many of us who did not walk in purity as teenagers or young adulthood but you best believe by faith in the Lord, I will walk down the aisle on my wedding day in white, as a pure virgin in Christ's eyes because of what Christ has done to redeem me!