Everyone knows the pain of breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend; we have all been there. It is sad, frustrating, maddening and elicits a whole range of emotions. It drives some people to bury their faces in a tub of Ben and Jerrys Ice cream, a completely valid response, by the way, cut/dye their hair or become a fitness model on Instagram. My personal favorite was always piercings, so to each their own. As much as breaking up with a significant other does hurt, there is something that hurts more and that is breaking up with a friend.
Breaking up with a friend tears at a whole new part of you, a different part than a romantic relationship. It breaks the bond between someone who you thought would be there to support you in everything from acing your midterm to landing on a good spin at drink wheel on Thursdays. There are things said to friends that you wouldn't have said to anyone else, memories that you make with them that wouldn't have happened with anyone else. But like everything else, it's important to remember that things don't always last. People will grow apart and incidents will happen. While it is incredibly sad, there are things to be learned from each failed relationship, romantic or otherwise. People come into your lives for different reasons, maybe to bring out certain qualities that you possess or to show you how you should change and adapt. While it's ok to be sad and miss those relationships that have come to pass, the best thing to do is learn from the experience and try to be a better, kinder, more well-rounded person.
Friend break-ups are tricky because there are often so many interlocking people and parts. The best thing to do is reach out beyond your immediate circle and begin to form new relationships as well. The friends who you share with your now ex deserve the peace and choice in whether to take sides and to hang out with all parties without drama. Forming the new friendships or reinvesting with old ones may seem scary but in the end, I can promise it will add color to your life.
The fear that you won't find anyone else is unfounded. You are special and unique and beautiful, with characteristics that make you you. You will find your person, or as the saying goes, your vibe will attract your tribe. So, reach out to that girl you like in your physics class and ask her to coffee, go into your contacts and reconnect with your friend from freshman year, who knows? Maybe your sister soul mate was only a few texts away.
