I used to hate being alone. If given the option of doing nothing or going somewhere alone, I would choose doing nothing in a heartbeat. I didn't see this as a problem, despite the pride I took in being a strong woman. I thought that I was independent, but in reality, I was cripplingly dependent on those around me to validate my actions.
It wasn't until I got to college that I noticed a common fear of being alone - whether it be a meal alone in the dining hall or a Saturday night without plans, it was as if being alone defined you as less of a person or meant you had no friends.
Once I realized this stigma around being alone, I took it as a chance to challenge my fear. Why was I like this? Why do I depend on others to feel comfortable doing what I want to do? It was like I was trapped by my own inability to do what sounds enjoyable, regardless of whether or not I would be accompanied by someone.
So I did it, I ate alone. And I'm not going to say it was easy because at first, I was uncomfortable. Sitting in the middle of a dining hall at a table by myself, I was convinced I could feel everyone's eyes burning holes into me. It wasn't until I finally looked around that I came to the realization that nobody cared. It was nobody's problem but my own. And now I can confidently say that since that day, I am free and comfortable to do whatever I want, and if someone wants to join me then that is great but if not, I know how to have a great day with just me.
If you want to challenge yourself to be comfortable doing things on your own, here is a list of a few of my favorite things to do by myself.
1. Get moving
Want to get outside and enjoy this fresh Spring air? Get outside and get moving with just yourself and your thoughts. There is no better way to clear your head.
2. Go to the movies
Is there a chick flick you want to see but can't find anyone to accompany you? Who cares, grab some popcorn and a slushee and enjoy the two-hour rom-com by yourself.
3. Make a bucket list
You shouldn't be making a list of your life goals with someone else there telling you what you want to do. After all, a bucket list is your dream adventures, so grab a nice cup of coffee and come up with your bucket list on your own.
4. Eat at a restaurant
If this isn't something that scares you, bravo to you. I know that I watched too many TV shows where some character had to eat dinner alone, pathetically sipping a martini and looking around for companionship. But when I finally sucked it up and tried it, I was surprised at just how relaxing a dinner alone can be if you get past the initial uncomfortable feeling.
5. Pamper yourself
Who says pedicures or massages have to be with someone else? After all, the whole point of pampering yourself is giving your body what it needs, so there is no better time to be alone with yourself and your thoughts.
6. Take a class
I have always wanted to take a cooking class, but because of my fear of being alone (as well as my bank account) I have never treated myself to a solo cooking class. This is a great way to not only do what you want regardless of what anyone else is doing, and is also a way to meet some nice, new like-minded people!
7. Go to a museum
Sadly, I struggle to find people who will agree to go walk around a silent museum with me and look at art or historical artifacts. Luckily, museums are an amazing place to be alone and give you a chance to truly appreciate everything around you without wondering if your friend is bored and wants to leave.
8. Binge watch your favorite series
Now, if you already do this with a friend then I am proud of your commitment, but I find it nearly impossible to coordinate my busy schedule with someone else's every time I want to watch our favorite show. Instead, find a show you want to watch and enjoy the freedom of settling into a marathon without the guilt of someone else.
9. Watch the sunrise
This is kind of also a plug for being a morning person, but there is something about marveling at the beauty of a simple sunrise to make you feel at peace with being alone. Mornings not your thing? Then try watching a sunset alone, and just let yourself enjoy the company of your own thoughts.
