The Five Stages of a Food Coma
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The Five Stages of a Food Coma

That moment when you've eaten so much that food has literally made you immobile and ready to nap for the rest of your life

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The Five Stages of a Food Coma

We all know that with the holiday seasons comes a ton of great things. Lots of love, laughter, and fun times with family and friends. The holidays brings a lot of great things, but above all they bring lots of food. And not just any type of food, but the good stuff: home-cooked, freshly made, stuffed with all the seasonings, and can't be found anywhere else. With lots of awesome food comes lots of food comas, so here are the five stages that just about everyone goes through when they're done stuffing their faces and realize that the food coma has claimed another victim.


Stage 1: The Eating

So technically this isn't part of the actual coma, but it's what gets you there. If you're going to have a food coma, you going to have to in on a serious amount of food. And what better time to do that then during the holidays? With the added bonus of the fact that it's winter, and any extra rolls will be covered by chunky sweaters anyway, there's honestly nothing stopping you from stuffing your face in holiday spirit.


Stage 2: The Post-consumption High

We all know that feeling right after you've eaten to your heart's content. Especially if its great, home-cooked, holiday food, it's sure to put you in a state of absolute bliss. You're floating on a cloud in a full-belly heaven, and it honestly seems like nothing can bring you down at this point. You're also probably crying because, wow, have you ever noticed how beautiful food is?



Stage 3: When it Hits You

This is it. You've had your food, shed a few tears of joy for the beauty that just filled your stomach, and now you're in a full blown food coma. That wave of exhaustion that just hit you literally seems like it came out of nowhere, and you swear that your stomach grows three sizes every time you look at it. You're so full and so freakin' happy, but gosh you could really just use a nap.


Stage 5: Paralysis

At this point, it honestly just feels like you're going to die. You can't move, you can't breathe. All you can think about is that fact that you probably just consumed half your weight in food and are about to give birth to a food baby any minute now. And you're definitely feeling some regret. Like, a lot of it. Did you really need that extra helping of collard greens? No. Do you regret eating it? Probably. Do you really care, though? Nope, because you're in a food coma and that's all you can think about.

Stage 6: The Bounce-Back

Lord knows how, but somehow you made it through. The food coma had you slumped for a while there, but finally you can walk, talk and breathe again. Even though it nearly claimed your life, and you're pretty sure you're going to spend some quality time in the bathroom in just a few minutes, any thoughts of regret are completely gone. Your taste buds are happy, your stomach is happy, and, most of all, you're happy that you are spending time with people you love and eating amazing food that you will never see grace the dining halls back at school. And since it's the holidays, you might as well keep the spirit going and treat yourself with another plate of food. You deserve it, and before you know it you're right back at stage one.

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