Over the past few months I have been asked, “What is it like struggling with depression?” Truthfully, I could probably write a whole book about it in itself, but of course, this is only one article.
Depression varies on the person in my newly experience. It not only exhaustive to you mentally, but depression drains you physically in a way. At least, for me. The illness cooperates on its schedule, reckless about what your goals are. Interests that you appeared to have in the past may not come of interests to you anymore. Comprehension lacks its strengths than it may had before. The motivation to actively attempt new activities with friends and family is crushed immediately by the controlling feeling. It’s way more than just a “sad emotion”, it affects your day to day life. There are good days and there are bad days. Less of a feeling, I have described it to people that it is more like a personality. Think of the crucial feeling as a physical blanket that weighs a hundred pounds. Even attempting a simple movement can easily exhaust you. If you have seen Pixar’s film, “Inside Out”, you are probably familiar with the very liked character, Sadness. The pessimism she constantly presents is in a comical way with the way she word things, but that’s lightly what depression is like. I remember as a child, I occasionally asked, “How can someone be so sad they don’t want to live anymore?”, or “How can someone be so sad that they need medicine?” After growing up and personally experiencing depression I have a very better understanding. Imagine having to be made to carry a car behind you everywhere you go without being able to release the car for a break for the rest of your life. Though it’s exhausting to drag everywhere you go, it relentlessly and harshly latches onto you. The stormy feeling arrests you, gaining control of your whole body. It wipes out all of your events in your calendar. Even when you approve to attend an event, you may plan to attend the week leading up to, but suddenly may need to decline the day of. This may frustrate the people who you have made plans with, but if so, try to not get disturbed by their reactions. It’s very difficult to understand something so severe unless they have experienced depression themselves or anything that relates to depression. Being a Born-again Christian is definitely helpful, but it’s still a fight that you constantly battle against daily. People will criticize you for handling it “wrong”, but the truth is, if you really struggle with intense depression, do activities for yourself, not for others. No, I’m not saying do ANYTHING, especially if it’s illegal of course, but if it’s something like watching tv just to escape reality, that’s alright. Yes, you will be judged, and yes it will hurt, but it’s your life and If that’s the only activity that helps you cope your harsh situations, just remember that you’re never alone and more people will understand than you think.
